2013 Recap / Happy New Years Eve !

Did you make the most of 2013? Did you obtain everything you said you would this year? If not, don't give up because the beauty about a new year is a new start !

The most important things about age is growth; If you aren't growing with each year, you are wasting away. One of my favorite quotes is: "Evolve or Evaporate". Even if it's an inch of growth, something is better than nothing.

What did you learn this year? People often associate failure as a negative connotation but I believe they are reality checks in life. This year alone, I gained and quit more jobs than I ever have in my life lol (3 to be exact). And while some may say I was ungrateful and should have been happy to have a job while others didn't (especially my Carrier job at the post office), I think I blessed others with jobs I knew weren't for me.

I'm more grateful than anything that I finally faced my fears and began blogging. I'd been wanting to do it since college, and never did it in fear that no one would receive what I had to say. But surprising after only 3 short months I've been blessed with you guys... My beautiful amazing Ryders ! You guys are the reason why I keep going. The overwhelming love and support I've received in the US as well as International are still astonishing. Thanks for helping me take the necessary steps to reach my dream. You all are truly remarkable.

I encourage you to welcome the New Year with open arms. I am a firm believer in change, so embrace it... even if it's something you aren't used to. Eliminate any negativity in your life and start the year off fresh and optimistic. Make 2014 a better year than 2013. Work towards your dreams, and never lose faith. Anything worth having is worth the storm, don't quit before you reach the finish line !

I love you all so much, I hope your New Year is safe and memorable.

Happy New Years Eve !

There is so much life you've yet to experience

We are often so consumed and confined in our own little nook, that we don't realize how big the world really is. There is so much to explore, learn  and gain from life, but only if you are willing to step outside of your comfort zone.

Our little worlds are based in one particular section of the earth. As humans, we are genetically inclined to gravitate towards familiarity. But it's not until you do something different that you become more aware of all that life has to offer.

In the United States alone, there are so many cultures and religions. Just think if you were to travel to a different country where you don't know the language, and the most scariest aspect... you know no one. It would be different but, because we gravitate towards familiarity, things will start to click. You may not know the language but guaranteed if you stay for a while you will pick it up, and begin to understand naturally.

There are so many people you've yet to meet, so many places you've yet to see, so many opportunities you've yet to experience, and so many possibilities yet to be discovered.

This life can be one with character, experience, laughter, and love if you allow it to. There is no telling who you will meet and how they may change your life; Or where you may go that could give you spiritual guidance and a more balanced life that you desire. Now is the time to explore and soar ! Spread your wings and fly without fear or reservation... give your life some C O L  O  R  ! 

5 reasons...

I love CHRIST !!!

5. He is E P I C ! There is no one more powerful, helpful, giving and loving than Jesus. All things are possible through him, and we are all a reflection of him. It's a privilege to know my hero personally.

4. Blessings. It would take me forever to list all of the limitless blessings I've received from Jesus. I'm blessed beyond measure and I'm grateful for the blessings I have attained as well as the ones I have yet to get.

3. Love. Jesus' love is abundant and infinite. If no one else loves me, I know he does. He is my confidant, friend, father and provider. I celebrate him everyday because I know without him I am nothing.

2. Security. No matter what, Jesus is always there for me and I enjoy the comfort in that stability. There's nothing better than knowing someone is looking out for you and protecting you even when you aren't doing it for yourself.

1. The Sacrifice. I don't know about you, but anyone that would give their life for me has a special significance in my life. That unconditional love and sacrifice is so overwhelming but heartwarming. Words can't express my appreciation and gratitude.

Make the future YOU proud

What are you doing today to ensure that your future is everything you want it to be? How are you working to make the future you proud? Now is the time to ask yourself these questions, and if you don't have an answer, it's time for you to get started !

You cannot expect your future to be better than you present or past if you aren't putting in the ground work now. Nothing comes overnight, and anything worth having comes with sacrifice. So what have you sacrificed thus far to attain your dreams?

It's never too late to re-write your story and start over. Whatever it is you want out of this life go get it, and don't let anything stop you. You are your greatest strength and weakness, don't let fear or doubt outweigh what you have to offer to the world.

Today is the perfect day to write out your plans and begin to execute them. Yeah... the new year is only a week away and it sound good to make new years resolution but let's face it, we never keep them. Don't wait until next year to do what can be done today. Get a head start on your future and welcome the new year with a new perspective and drive to come closer to attaining your dream.

The decision is solely yours... so what are you gonna do? Keep procrastinating and making excuses? or Get it done? I don't know about you but the future I envision for myself is quite fruitful, so I'd rather work now and play later. We are born winners Ryders, let's do something that will go down in history !

You hold the key to your destiny

We've all been told we couldn't do something, couldn't be something, and couldn't have something before. It's the worst feeling to be told what you can and can't do or have. But never allow others to dictate what you deserve or what you are worthy of.

God has the last say with everything we know, but you have a choice as well. People can say whatever they want, but if you don't believe it, it doesn't matter. We often give words power, but without the power... the words mean nothing.

You are responsible for what you allow and what you want out of this life. It's up to you to keep doing the same things, or make the decision to change for the better. Embrace the things you can't change about yourself and love you for you. There is nothing like self love, because no one will take care of you like you can.

Be happy. Be hopeful. Be thankful. This life is not promised so live, really live and enjoy it. Do something out of your comfort zone, take a trip, buy something you wouldn't normally buy, go snorkeling, read, be adventurous. Be free !

You hold the key to your destiny, open the door to endless opportunities and possibilities. Don't restrict yourself of all the beauty in the world. Explore and get to know yourself, and exude positivity into the universe and see what you get in return. Live for you, you only get one life.

Oblivion is B L I S S !

Have you ever just sat and thought about all of things you didn't know about, and how awful it was when you came to know the truth? I've been thinking about the concept of living in oblivion, and I question if it would be better to not know certain things.

It's amazing how your perspective can be changed in an instance. I look back on my childhood and think about how I viewed certain people, as well as my influences. It never really occurs to you that something could be the opposite of what it really is or not happen the way you had envisioned when you're young; For instance...when I was younger, I knew I wanted to be a writer because I loved creating stories, but it never once crossed my mind that I wouldn't become a writer or the obstacles I would face to obtain that dream. The most tragic thing in adulthood is a reality check lol. They open yours eyes, build character, and test your endurance. And although those can be great things if viewed in an optimists' eyes, I often wish I had that same nonchalant attitude I did as a child.

Present-day, oblivion is welcomed in adulthood lol. Just think of all the heartbreaking things that happen in life: death, divorce, accidents, bills (yes I put that in bold red lol), and the overall struggle that comes with being an adult. I'd love to live in bliss without a worry in the world, and go back to my carefree mentality as a child. There is so much promise and imagination in the world when you are young, and as you grow, life begins to suck all of that out of you. So I'm working now to restore some of those characteristics that I once loved about myself; And in doing so I created my blog months ago. After going to college and taking several creative writing classes and learning the technicalities of writing, it took away the fun in it. Therefore I have to bring that fun back in order to write and actually love what I'm doing.

Well that's it, don't want to keep you guys on this Monday before Christmas lol. But let me know what you think: Is oblivion bliss? or Is it better to know? Leave your comments below and let's talk !

5 reasons...

I love Scarfs

5. They're Trendy. The great thing about scarfs is that they never go out of style. I don't care how old a scarf may be, if it's cute, there is no expiration date. I actually wish I had vintage scarfs from my grandmother or mom to wear now.

4. Affordable. If there's one thing you should know about me by now is that I'm all about a good deal. I like nice things but I don't live above my means, therefore I shop responsibly and reasonably. Some of my favorite scarfs were only 5 dollars !

3. Adds character. If you ever need to liven up your attire just add a scarf. A scarf can make all the difference in an outfit, and can transform it from drab to fab in a moments notice.

2. Unique selections. There are so many patterns and colors to choose from when it comes to scarfs. You can pretty much get any kind of scarf: short, long, zigzag, solid, striped, multicolored, leopard, sports teams, polka dot, wavy, houndstooth... You name it ! Step outside of your comfort zone and get colors and patterns that add a little spunk and character to your wardrobe !

1. Great cover up. Ladies we all have those horrible PMS days when we're bloated and don't want to wear anything but sweats. Scarfs are the best kept secret in the winter. There's nothing better than a long fashionable scarf to cover up that belly during that time of the month lol.

**P.S. The photo above is a collection of my favorite scarfs. Photo credits to me ! Lol

Perception vs. Reality

Who wants that perfect love story anyway? Who wants that hero love that saves the day? cliché cliché !

It's amazing how perception can be so far from reality. You know those people that look like they have everything together and have the most lavish lives. Everything is not as it seems, and you may not believe it now but God sure has ways of showing it.

I used to look at other people's relationships and want that for myself; I always wanted to choose a safe career, but a safe career didn't choose me, and when I acquired one ... I realized that's what I didn't want lol. I know now that I was born to be a writer and I could spend the rest of my life running from that fact or embracing it... it's pretty obvious what I decided to do. I say that to say, don't believe the facades that people portray. Some of the prettiest and wealthiest people are the most unhappiest and empty people in the world.

Never wish for someone else's life, everyone is different for a reason, everything you have will be perfect for you and only you. No one has the same relationships, careers, or aspirations. In life you will meet people that have similar aspects and instances in their lives, but no one has an identical life... not even twins.

Start praying and living the best life you can for you. Everything you want in this life will be granted to you by God's will. Don't force relationships, jobs, or decisions to live up to other's standards. Be true to you and everything else will fall into place. The reality is, perception can be deadly if misinterpreted. Make your perception and reality link perfectly for you. The only person you should be trying to please is you, everything else is obsolete.

It's never too late to be who you might have been

What's that one thing you'd give anything to do for the rest of your life? What's that one dream you've always wanted to complete, and no matter what... your passion for it won't go away? It could be a hobby, a side job, or your outlet when things get hectic.

What are you waiting for? It's never too late to be who you might have been. I know you've been thinking of how great life could already be or how close you could already be to your dream had you started earlier, but it's never too late. So what you're just now going for it... you're going for it ! Don't stop until you reach the top, keep pushing yourself until you get where you want to be, and even then never stop working at your craft.

There is nothing in this life that's unattainable; the only things that are unattainable are the things that you allow yourself to believe you can't have. God created us all in his imagine, you really think he wants his kids to go without experiencing all the amazing things that life has to offer? I think not.

Age doesn't matter, finances doesn't matter, circumstances don't matter... all that matters is your drive. If you do your part no matter how limited your funds may be, everything will evolve as it should. Pray. Believe. & Receive. Everything you were destined to have in this life will happen in God's perfect timing. Cover your end and God will handle the rest, now get out there and be great... you don't have any other choice !

Do it for Y O U !

There's nothing worse than hearing someone say they're working towards a goal for everyone but them. Do it for you ! I've heard people say countless times that they are doing it for their family, future generations and fans. If you aren't doing it for yourself you shouldn't be doing it at all. After all, who's going to keep you motivated when you feel like you can no longer go on, or when you feel like giving up?

I'm not saying don't use your support system as motivation, I'm saying don't let them be your only driving force. It's ultimately up to you to go for and accomplish your goal in life... they are your dreams; no one can write your story in first person but you. And no one can go for your dreams but you. Let your family be family, and let your dreams be YOUR dreams.

While I have been guilty of saying I work towards my dream daily for my family, it's because I want them to be proud of me. I more so disagree with the people that feel like they have to do a specific dream to carry their family and support them financially. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to help your family, don't give yourself that burden of trying to do everything for them, you will never rest easy because you will never be able to please everyone.

I envision a life of peace, stability and happiness, and I only want the same for all of you. Go for your dreams because you want to, not for anybody else. Do what makes you happy and everything will fall into place. Don't allow baggage, obstacles and distractions to stop you from attaining everything you desire out of life. Dream big and live bigger, the world is yours for the taking !

5 reasons...

I'm addicted to eBay

5. Accessibility. Since it's online I can access it anywhere. And I have the app on my phone so I can easily bid anywhere: work, store, doctor's office etcetera ! lol

4. Filter. I can filter my search to exactly what I'm looking for, in the exact condition and price range I want. There's nothing better than that feature !

3. Affordability. Because of the low affordable prices, I often resort to eBay before going to Walmart or any other store. Nine times out of ten, I can find exactly what I want at a great price with free shipping.

2. International. As I said earlier, the power of online capabilities are uncanny. And since there are no restrictions, I often shop with direct sellers from China and Hong Kong. And I know you're thinking: "All things are made in China", but if it's purchased directly from China it's so much cheaper ! I just gave you a gem... you're welcome ! lol

1. Convenience. Because of eBay I did all of my Christmas shopping online last year, and half this year so far. There is nothing like shopping in your pajamas in the comfort of your warm home in the height of the winter. And let's not forget NO LINES ! The perks of the Internet are limitless. Shout out to the creator of EBay... you are a true revolutionary ! lol

Every decision you make now effects your future later

You may not realize it, but everything you do now effects your future later. Every decision can alter your destiny in some way. Just think of things that are life changing in an instance: car accidents, unexpected deaths, robberies, job opportunities, meeting new people. Each day could be something new, and could either help or hurt you in the future dependent upon what you decide to do.

If you are my age or younger, partying, clubs and carefree adventures are what most twenty-somethings are doing on the regular. But what separates me from the rest is my dedication to attain my dream. Anything worth having comes with a sacrifice and you can't expect to do the same thing and get different results. So while I would love to shop and club and float effortlessly through life, it's not realistic when it comes to what I want my future to be. I often spend my weekends at home watching movies or reading for two reasons: 1. To save money and 2. To brainstorm and get inspiration for future writing material. It may seem boring to you, but my future is going to be so amazing, I will do whatever it takes now to get there.

Start thinking before you do things. Don't fall victim to peer pressure, have a voice, use your brain and make the right decisions. Don't endanger yourself or others by drinking and driving, or indulging in other drugs that you could physically harm your body or land you in jail. While it may see fun to be "free" now, the truth of the matter is, you are considered to be an adult at age 18, therefore you have to be wise decisions. There is nothing wrong with having fun, but too much of anything is bad for you... do it in moderation.

So I challenge you all to start planning for your future and making decisions that will allow you to have the type of career and life you desire. No one can control your life but you, and with that power comes much responsibility. Make smart decisions now and see the profit of your efforts in the near future. I love you all, thanks for rockin' with me Ryders !

A C T I O N S speak louder than W O R D S

Remember that old saying from elementary school? Well it still proves to be true to this day. Don't just say you're gonna do something DO IT! You are the only one that can make your dreams come true so get to work !

You can talk about all of the things you wish to accomplish, but if nothing is done, words mean nothing. People want to believe in what you have to offer, but first you have to make them a believer. They need to see the product, whatever it may be: are you selling jewelry, books, clothes, aspiring to be an actor, doctor, writer? Whatever it may be, there has to be a demo of some sort before people will invest.

If you are passionate about something give it your all. Don't let anyone deter you or stop you from going after your goals. If you don't believe in what you have to offer no one else will, you hold the key to your failure or success. Be proud, strong and rational. Look people in the eyes, smile and be assertive. And most of all have manners, manners will get you far in life.

Let your actions do all of the talking. If you do the ground work and everything needed to make your brand stand out, the product will speak for itself. After all, those that ramble and feel the need to brag or boast seldom have anything of value to offer. So what are you waiting for? The world is yours for the taking ! And remember: Don't talk about it... BE about it !

Can't let the fear of falling keep you from flying

Close your eyes. Now think of your ultimate dream. Now think of actually living that dream. Do you see how sweet it could be? How fulfilling and amazing it could be to do something you actually love? Now open your eyes and go get it !

You cannot let fear prevail over your life. Either you go for what you want or take what life gives you. Do you want a hand-out or do you want to do the handing out? It's solely up to you. You can either be a boss or get bossed around. The choice is yours.

I don't know about you but I'd rather make myself a millionaire doing something I love, rather than helping someone else become one. The perks of life happen after hard work. After you've laid a solid foundation, then you can celebrate and revel in your success. But you will never have success if you continue to stifle yourself.

Stop being your worst critic. Start believing in yourself. You are worth taking a chance for, so take the chance on yourself. Go for your dreams no matter how long it takes, no matter how many people say you can't do it, no matter the obstacles that will definitely come. Keep going, never give up, and believe that whatever you want to get out of this life is attainable. So go ahead... take that flight ! I want to see you sore high in the sky with the stars ! The world is yours for the taking !

Don't wait for the story to unfold... write your own chapters !

Just take a moment and think of what you want your story to consist of. What is it that you want to become? What do you want your life to be devoted to? A career, family, or the balancing act of both? Whatever you choose, make sure it's something that is fulfilling for you. A career is nothing if you aren't genuinely happy and doing something you love. And family is nothing if it isn't loving and unconditional on all ends.

Take control of your life and start working towards whatever it is you want to become. Whatever it is you want to be, put in the ground work now so that your future will be promising. Although the story may not unfold exactly how you plan or expect it to, as long as you stay focused and determined it will happen. But it will happen in God's perfect timing, so patience is key.

Just think of getting paid to do something you love. If you will do it for free now, the icing on the cake will be funds behind it in the future. Build your brand, believe in it, and stick with it. No matter how hard it may be at times to keep going, do it ! Your dedication will not go unnoticed and you will eventually get the recognition you deserve. Ask.Believe.Receive. That is the secret to success, once you pray and do your part, everything else will fall into place... I'm living proof !

So what are you waiting for? Start today ! Make a blueprint, sketch an idea, brainstorm. Do whatever needs to be done to make your story a success. And don't worry about failure because it will only be beneficial to you, listen and learn from it. Get up and start working towards your future now, there's no time like the present ! You hold the pen to your story, write in only a way you can !

5 reasons...

Why I can't stop Dream Chasing

5. I have no other choice. If I weren't going after my dream what would I be doing? I don't want to think about it, because complacency is the key to failure, and failure isn't what I'm striving for. How can I look my future children in the eye and tell them they can be anything they want to be when they grow up if I never went after what I wanted to be? I'm doing this for myself as well as future generations to come. They say writing is a dead career because no one reads, well I guess I'm gonna have to revive the industry !

4. No regrets. In this life I want to live without regret and in doing so that means I have to give life my all. No holding back, no fear, no doubts. All or nothing ! I refuse to look back 30 or 40 years from now working a job I hate while making someone else's dreams come true in their company and making them wealthier, only to think "What-if I had given writing a real shot", I don't know about you but I'm doing the ground work now to make myself wealthy in the future.

3. Inspiration. I'm inspired by so many things in life, and if I can be that inspiration to one little boy or girl, I will have completed my mission. I want to show that the good guy doesn't finish last, and hard work does pay off. I once read: "Hard work beats talent if talent doesn't work hard", I want to show that its possible to make a dream manifest into reality.

2. Legacy. I want to leave something for my great great grandchildren to look at and be proud of and motivated by. I want to connect with a million strangers around the world so much so that we become a family. I want to build a brand that stands through the test of time.

1. Fulfillment. To me, fulfillment is doing something you love for free and still getting a rush from it. My fulfillment is writing and inspiring others to go after dreams they never thought they would. If you do something you love you'll never have to work a day in your life.

*Rest in Peace Nelson Mandela. Because of him, my dreams as well as yours are attainable. The visionary and revolutionary legend that is Nelson Mandela will forever live on.

Adventures with Allen: Good outweighing Bad

While I have so many stories I could share about Allen, I rarely write about it because I often struggle with privacy (even though I changed his name for that very reason) and offending someone. It's not "cool" to talk about someone abnormal, and there's always that risk of controversy. But there's so much depth in an "anti-normal" person, it's hard not to want to write about it.

As I've said previously, I never imagined working with a child with Prader Willi Syndrome. But I know that everything happens for a reason, and in knowing so, I know that the experiences I share with him aren't in vain. I've grown to love Allen and have become very protective of him like family. He's so easy to love, and I love that he isn't normal, because as I always say: "Normal is boring" and boring Allen is not lol.

More than anything he's taught me how to cherish the good days, because when things are good it's great, but when things are bad they are BAD ! lol Today is a perfect example of a great day with Allen. I didn't work yesterday due to a cold that forced me to stay in bed all day; but when I came today, he was so happy to see me, and kept thanking me for coming. He said he'd missed me and I have to admit I missed him as well. What amazed me the most was that he was so appreciative and grateful to have me in his life, when at times it doesn't seem like it.

If nothing else, Allen is genuine. This is one of many things I love about him, he's not gonna be fake, and he's gonna tell you how he feels even if you don't want to hear it lol. When he hugs me in that bear-hug-death-grip only Allen can, I know it's from the heart. And in contrast, when he's upset or angry trust me you will know it ! lol And all in the same, if he's happy he will show it. While it's hard to guess what he's thinking or his next spontaneous move or attitude may be, there is no question when it comes to authenticity.

It's so easy to give up but...

Think of all the things you've started but never completed or even stuck with. Now think of how your life could be different had you stayed and gave it all of your dedication. One cannot grow if they continue to start over, it's like being a baby all over again... you cannot expect to walk if you haven't learned how to crawl first.

Stop giving up so easy and give things a chance. You cannot assume things will always be the same, let them manifest naturally. If you have a passion for something don't give up on it; Obtaining a career from your passion is God's gift to you, don't ignore your blessing. Go for it even if you fail several times, keep going until you get where you want to be. Some of the world's biggest names were told 'no' a million times before they heard one 'yes', persistence and thick-skin is key. The trick is, you have to believe in your passion before anyone else can, if it's not believable no one will receive it.

So what school is overwhelming and finals are making you insane, if your major is directly involved with what you want to do in the future stick it out! It's so easy to give up, take the difficult approach and keep going, you will be rewarded at the end of completion when you walk across that stage and receive your degree. Or maybe the job you're at isn't what you want to do but it pays the bills, STAY! As hard as it may seem stay, at least until you find something else. Trust me I know first-hand how quitting a job prematurely can set you back for months on in.

Today I challenge you to be great because good enough doesn't make a legend, and let's face it... we all want to be legends some day. Treat each day as if you are creating you legacy, this journey is not in vain. Just think of all the future generations you will inspire by going for what you believe in. Once you realize your dream, it's up to you to decide if you want to  keep dreaming, or if you want to make that dream a reality. The choice is yours...choose wisely !

Life is about quality not quantity

When you reflect on your life, does the number of things you have acquired or wish to acquire consume you, or are you happy with less things that are quality? As children we wish to attain large quantities in toys, clothes, and friends. But as you grow you are supposed to recognize and appreciate the quality of something. What means more to you, quality or quantity?

 People often associate quantity with wealth and happiness, you know: "If I get this many Chanel bags that means I'm ballin'" or "If I was a millionaire I would be so happy and stress free." They say ignorance is bliss, and when it comes to circumstances as such, this proves to be true. If you base your happiness and fulfillment of life on material quantities than the value, you are setting yourself up for failure. After all, too much of anything is bad for you.

Enjoy the quality of people, life and happiness. While wanting to have nice things are fine, don't become a slave to a designer name. Own the label, don't let the label own you. There are far more better things to glorify, like God.Value the priceless things in life like family, nature and life ! We often take for granted so much in life until there is a life-altering instance that changes our mindset. Don't let that instance happen, make the change for yourself now.

Yesterday I went to the gas station and was surprised to see that the person before me had done a credit for .87 cents of gas. I instantly had an epiphany, because you always know there is someone doing worse than you, but you never really KNOW until it's in your face. At that very moment I felt so thankful to have money to put gas in my car, and I wished I had been there to give that person at least $10 to help. The quality in a person comes from their ability to love and bless others, not the quantity. Make someones day by helping them, listening to them, or by giving them encouraging words. You never know what someone is going through, so strive to make a difference everyday.

5 reasons...

I'm Thankful

5. I have a job. I'm so blessed to have a job because there are so many people that don't. While I never imagined doing what my current job title requires, I am following the path that God has for me. Everything happens for a reason, and as a writer only gives me more material.

4. Security. I have a solid family and a place to stay, a bed and food to eat. We often put more emphasis  on things we don't have and wish to acquire, but I have everything I need and I'm grateful. I have a solid foundation, and at the end of the day, that's all that really matters.

3. Health. Although I could be healthier and intend to work more effectively on healthier eating and working out, I am blessed to be alive. There is always someone worse off, so I give thanks to God for waking me up this morning.

2. Family. I've been blessed to have amazingly crazy but incredibly amazing people to call family. No matter the situations we face, we are one and I wouldn't  replace anyone of them.

1. God's love. His unconditional love and support is more than I could ever ask for. He's always looking out for me and I enjoy the comfort in that security.

I hope you guys enjoyed your Thanksgiving and spent it with your loved ones be it: family, friends or strangers that have become family. Just because Thanksgiving is over doesn't mean that you should stop being thankful and grateful for all that you have. Everyday should be thanksgiving because no matter what you wish to attain, you have some thing. Be grateful for all that you have and God will continue to bless you so that you can bless others.

Is success + love attainable?

I talk a lot about following dreams, setting goals and completing them, and living a fulfilling life, but the truth is I'm secretly... or maybe not so secretly a hopeless romantic lol. Of course I want to look my dream directly in the eye, but I also want to look someone that loves me and supports me directly in the eyes as well and know that we are secure and one.

I often question if success and love are compatible, and if they are, is it possible to give each the same amount of attention. I look at people like Barack and Michelle, and Beyoncé and Jay-Z and question how they make it work. I mean... we are talking about some of the most successfully influential people, but also some of the most busiest people in the world. How do they find time? and how many arms are required for that balancing act?

What good is success without someone to share it with? Nothing if you ask me. I want to be able to share my successes with someone that believed in me from the start, someone that saw my potential before the world could. No number of Best Seller's could amount to the support and love of a significant other, but at the same time no significant other could amount to the Best Seller's list. Catch-22 lol as are all great things in life.

So if you know or are a person that is fairly successful in life, whatever your job may entail, and are fortunate enough to have someone you love or care for deeply... is success and love attainable simultaneously? Can you dedicate enough time to each or is it inevitable that one gets more attention than the other? I'd like to believe that there is a perfect balance beam, but the reality of that is life is a mix of unbalanced balances lol. Let's talk, what do you think? Can it be accomplished and have longevity? or is it a fairytale idealism?

There's only power in what you allow

Whatever you believe and speak into the universe will be. I never believed or understood that saying until this year. If you speak negative, negative things will happen. I would always say but if I speak positive it doesn't always happen. It's up to you to determine your outlook on life and make the most of it. Bad days are inevitable, so consider yourself blessed if your good days outweigh the bad, because there's always someone worse off than you.

Fears are also inevitable, it's a natural element in life, yet the power of your fears is in your hands. If you allow your fears to hinder you from being great, you will live a life of regret; but if you address those fears and channel them, you could make a decision to change the things you don't like, and embrace the things you cannot change about yourself. As with anything, there is only power in what you allow. Some people don't like the 'B' word because they give that word power, others don't mind; it's all in what you allow to have power.

Just think of all the time you've wasted being afraid and doubting yourself. You could already be doing what you want by now... but the beautiful thing about life is that it's never too late. It's never too late to go after what you want, could be a relationship, dream job, personal goal etc. Never let fear stifle you, let the fear fuel you ! If you don't give the fear attention, eventually it will fade away; but if you continuously feed it, the fear is going to keep growing. Don't allow your fears to grow a pulse, kill them now so that you can prosper.

Today is as good a time as any to really evaluate what you want out of life and how you intend to attain it. People will only believe in what you do, so if you don't believe in yourself don't expect them to. Have confidence in yourself, it starts on the inside. If you want to travel more, save and go... don't let anything or anyone stop you from living your life. If you have a dream to be something that may seem unattainable, go for it and give it your all ! Don't stop until you get where you want to be going. Let's not waste anymore time, the time is now and the power is in your hands ! Be fearless and spread your wings!

Battling the past

Have you ever had the past continuously creep back up? Like you can't escape it, no matter how hard you try? When things are going great, poof ! There is that person, memory, or thing that inconveniently pops back up to add some "character" into your life. For twenty-four years, that person has been my dad.

 Prior to a phone call I received last Tuesday, I hadn't spoken to him since March of 2012, and since that was via text for my birthday, I hadn't verbally spoken to him since 2011. I won't get into details as to why we stopped communicating (I could write a books worth of details as far as that goes lol), but I will say his inconsiderate ways and warped mindset played a major part. However, the phone call I received Tuesday was from his social worker in regards to him, because he knew I didn't want to talk to him. But after actually talking to him I realized two things... 1. I do still care about him despite all the wrong that he has done and 2. He's still the same person, and will never change.

My dad is the epitome of instability. In every way possible ! After twenty-four years the man I share the same last name and blood type with is a stranger to me, and whether he wants to admit it or not, I'm the same for him. It's kind of hard to have a solid relationship with someone that constantly chooses drugs (crack and who knows what else) over you, and if not drugs, constant bad decisions that would land him in jail repeatedly, or a combination of bad decisions because of the use of drugs.

It's crazy when I think of the things and instances that have made me who I am and he's played an essential part in that by not being there. He is the reason why  I don't trust guys and have my guard up, he was the one I wrote to in prison when I learned to write, and he's the complete opposite of what I want in a husband. Funny how drugs can alter your truth, and sadly to this day his truth is still skewed and corrupted; they say the age you begin doing drugs is the age you're stuck in, so although he is fifty-two he's really in his early twenties mentally, although I'd go even further back and say teenage years lol.

So here he is attempting to come back into my life for the hundredth time, with the same excuses, "woe is me" sap stories and broken promises. And I'm forced to decided whether I want to allow him back into my life, or give up on him completely. There is a part of me that feels sorry for him because he's burned so many bridges, and I know if I walk away he won't have anyone. But then there's the other side that enjoyed not talking to him and having the dysfunction, yet I question why I even still care for a person that doesn't care enough about me to do right, or why pity a person that is alone because of his own actions.

All I can do is pray to God and ask that he gives me the answers. I struggle with wanting a relationship with him because he is my dad, but I know that he can't and won't ever be the dad I deserve. When the past comes running back, do you embrace it or push it away? I'll either have to accept him for who he is or let it go; only time will tell I suppose. In the words of Jay-Z "Time don't go back it goes forward, can't run from the pain go towards it."

* As you know I like to add a musical selection if it ties in, and below is the perfect tune. Enjoy !

"Hittin stones in glass homes.... you smokin stones in abandoned homes...

 you hittin stones and broke your home"

5 reasons...

I love Scandal !

5. Evokes emotion. No matter if you are a complete sap or a steel door, one thing is for sure... Scandal will bring out emotions you never thought possible. Every emotion is addressed, and as a viewer I feel just as apart of the situation in each episode as the characters do. Kudos to the writer, Shonda Rhimes ! It's a writers dream to evoke emotion from the audience, and Shonda successfully does that each week. Whether you love, hate or pity a character, there is no indifference... you are stern on how and why you feel that way.

4. It's reversed. In society, we hate the side woman and wish she'd die, but on Scandal it's the complete opposite. We feel Olivia's entitlement for Fitz even though he is married, and was when they started the affair; and it's as if Mellie is the side woman trying desperately to be the wife. There is so much at risk, yet so much invested it's hard to look away. Deep down, I know I'm not the only one that would love to see Olivia and Fitz live out their dream life together, where she can make jam in the house she won't let him sell yet, with 3 or 4 biracial kids running around. Hmmm.... maybe that has potential, given that Kerry Washington (Olivia) is pregnant in real life; It'll be interesting to see how they tie that into the show next season.

3. It's scandalous. Each week there is something new and captivating. And the cliffhangers (which I hate) always keep you guessing. Just like last night's fiasco, what happens two weeks from now when Olivia sees her mother whom she believed to be dead for over 20 years? Or will Quinn get arrested? So many questions... I could go on for days lol.

2. It's compelling. Although I was a late-comer to Scandal and the whole "Gladiator in a suit" bit, I was drawn in from the first episode. There is so much depth in all of the characters, and because of that, their stories are able to flow more throughout each episode. I call that writers magic, the writer definitely has "the juice" lol.

1. It's brilliant. The perspectives, the characters, the lies, secrets and mysteries, the love, the imperfections.... everything combined makes this show a success. It's relateable and in your face. I've said it this entire post, but my hats off to the writer! While most people in oblivion believe it's the actor's that make the show, (which is halfway true because they do deliver) the gold lies in the hands of the writer. The urgency, tenacity and obstacles are truly impeccable. This is what I live for, creative minds getting out their gift and showing the masses. Shonda are everything !

Cannot wait to tune in 2 loonnnngggg weeks from now for the finale, until next time Gladiators !

Check out the promo trailer for the Winter Finale below !

You can do anything in the world... except not do it !

The only thing stopping you is YOU! Whatever it is you want to complete in this life, go for it with full force. Stop dimming your light because others don't shine as bright as you. You have a talent, use it or lose it ! Simple. The possibilities in this world are limitless and you are the gatekeeper to all opportunities. All opportunities: jobs, friendships, relationships, and all of things that bring you fulfillment in life. Your true happiness can only come from the source, you !

The world is yours for the taking. No matter how far fetched your dream may seem, or how long it takes to reach it, keep going ! You don't want to wake up one day and think of all the things you could have done but never did. Life is about taking risks and being brave; No one ever got to their dream by being safe and meek. Go for it ! Even if no one supports or believes in you, let that fuel your fire. Let them motivate you to work even harder, the best revenge is doing what someone said you couldn't.

So go take that trip you've been longing to, even if you have to go alone. Go sky diving, eat at a restaurant alone, start scratching things off that bucket list ! Don't keep putting off things you want to accomplish, there will  never be a perfect time or day... the time is now ! If you want something go for it, that way if you don't succeed, you would have learned from the experience, and won't have to wonder what-if. Time is of  the essence, there's no time like the present.

Big Sean- Nothing is Stopping You

listen and read the lyrics below !

No one's success story is the same

Although people may have things that make them similar, no one has an identical success story. The paths traveled may be slightly the same, but more often than not, they are unique in their own way. Just think of what you want to be or contribute to the world. What is your gift that you want to share? Not everyone has the same talent, and it's up to you to showcase yours in a professional manner so that people will respect and appreciate what you have to offer.

I remember saying several times, primarily right before graduating college last year, that I wish there was a blueprint for writers. I was so frustrated and lost, but knew I had a talent to write, yet no real idea of where to start. I thought of the teacher blueprint, everything is lined up for you, you have the classes, tests, presentations, and hands on experience with internships; same thing with nurses, everything is drawn out for you, and you are certain to attain a nursing job with a great salary right after graduation. I on the other hand, am approaching my one year anniversary of graduation, without successfully obtaining employment from my major thus far. However, I decided to take my destiny and create my own blueprint. I think of the great author's that simply wrote nonstop to get out their gifts, and eventually went on to be on the New York Times Best Sellers list. That's what I'm shooting for... one step at a time. The blog is my first step and eventually I will start writing books simultaneously so that both my mediums will help each other.

Don't allow someone else's success to dictate how successful you can be. No one has the same story, therefore their success stories won't be the same either. The most common thing I've seen in all successful people is their ability to be fearless and brave. You have to believe in your talent in order to make someone else. Think of something you've loved doing for free and go for it. Sure the jump start may not bring in revenue, but in time, if you are dedicated, the money will come. Someone could see your work and want you apart of their business, or refer you to someone that has a similar niche. You never know until you go for it, so stop being afraid and show the world what you've got, you'll be so glad you did. No one's success story is the same, so create your own and make it interesting !


* By the way Ryders... this is our 50th post ! Thanks for all of the continued support, I would be nothing without you all... the love is abundantly real!

Don't be afraid to open the door

I know you're probably thinking: "open what door?". Although I do still believe in chivalry, that's not the kind of door opening I'm discussing lol.

I'm talking about opening the door for change... Be it good or bad, difficult or sad; your door should always be open to the possibilities of the world. There are two perspective on this theory, pay attention.

So the first, and probably most obvious perspective is opening the door for positive change. It could be an amazing job in a different state, stepping out on faith following your heart or dream, new relationships, new outlooks on life. Whatever it may be, never cheat yourself of life's wonderful surprises by blocking your blessings. Never let fear, doubt, naysayers, or even yourself hold you back in life. Keep that door open, and when I say "door" it's more so your mind... Keep your mind open to new possibilities, new discoveries, and new opportunities... you never know when change will come knocking.

Then there's negative change that can be very difficult and life altering. Don't be afraid to open the door when you aren't happy or feeling unappreciated. So you're still not on the same page with that guy you've been dating for over five months, maybe you appreciate him more than he does you, open that door and let him go. Don't ever worship someone more than yourself, if they aren't willing to hold on to you as tight as you are to then, loosen that grip and walk in the opposite direction. Same thing for work, school or anything that isn't meshing well with you. I'm not saying open the door prematurely, make sure you have a backup plan. If your job isn't working out at least try to wait until you have something else lined up; And with school, maybe it isn't for  you... you are overwhelmed, going because your parents made you, or going because you feel like it's the right thing to do. Do it because you want to,do what you love and the blessings will follow.

I've gone through similar experience in the past and present from both perspectives, and it's definitely easier said than done; But when you know your worth you have to do what's best for you. If you aren't happy and fulfilled, cut that deal weight and toss it out the door. What may mean the world to you now could easily become a distance  memory a year from now. As humans, we hold on to things and people far too long in fear that if we lose them we won't find any better, when the truth is God  always has better in store once you've eliminated all distractions and suppressants. So keep an open mind, heart and spirit, and watch your fruitful future flourish.

Sometimes silence is the best therapy

Does it sometimes feel like your life is in turmoil? Are you feeling off balanced? Is stress at home/school/work taking it's toll? I've got the best remedy, and what makes it even better is that it's free ! Silence, it's my secret weapon to keeping my sanity, here's how it works.

When things aren't exactly going as planned and are beyond your control, step back and let go. Don't stress or worry, just free yourself and regroup. There are several ways you can do that... Many people do a favorite hobby like: hiking or bike riding if you are an outdoorsy kind of person, retail therapy and spa days if you aren't one with nature lol, or get lost in a good book or movie. Whatever eases your mind, channel that... as long as it doesn't involve getting arrested of course lol.

Lately I've found that silence has been my best outlet; although it feels like a catch-22 because I am one with my thoughts and I can't escape or hide from whatever is bothering me, it's so helpful to get to the root of the problem without distractions. When you are in silence, similar to meditation, you are able to think clearly and more rationally. It's like having a full fledged conversation with yourself without uttering a word. My "silent time" usually comes a little after midnight, when half the world is sleeping. I think of everything: goals, relationships, work, the future, present annoyances... you name it !  And afterward I know exactly what needs to be done, what needs to be fixed, and what needs to be eliminated.

If you are looking for a free and helpful way to decompress, I'd suggest sitting in silence. I know, it's 2013 and there is technology for everything, but technology cannot provide you peace of mind. Take at least an hour a day to shut off everything and everyone and have some time to yourself. You will be so much more connected within, and can function in society more effectively. If you are still skeptical... try it for three days, if you don't feel different let me know and we'll figure out where the problem lies. Until next time...

Hope you guys don't have a case of the Mondays !

5 reasons...

I hate Winter

5. I'm a Grinch. Although I love Christmas: celebrating Jesus and family, I am not the jolliest person lol. I don't get into the lights and decorating mechanics... I'll decorate a tree but that's as far as it goes lol; unlike my Mom, if she could have it her way, the entire house would be outlined with lights lol.

4. It's longer than Fall. Am I the only one that thinks Fall is always cut short by Winter's overbearing power? I hate that my favorite season doesn't last long, but neither does all great things in life.

3. Depressing. Statistics have shown that more people are depressed in the winter more than any other season. And can you blame them? Longer nights and cold windy days, no thank you. *Side-note: Did you know that if you start a sentence with "statistics" people automatically believe it, even if its bs lol.

2. I can't hibernate. I would love the winter if I could be a bear & hibernate, but since I can't I despise it tremendously. Why do bears get the luxury of hibernation and the closest thing we humans have is a coma? Lol

1. It's freezing. There is nothing appealing about blistering cold weather and endless layers of clothes lol. I'd rather take the winter off from work & stay in my pj's all day.

Is the state of satisfaction attainable?

Doesn't it seem like an endless cycle? Always trying to reach a certain height and once it's complete, you're on to the next. There is always something more to want or acquire, so I ask... is satisfaction attainable? Not temporary satisfaction, I'm talking about complete satisfaction, can it be a permanent state?

With all of life's temporary things, people, and memories I question satisfaction myself. Is there anyone on this earth that is truly satisfied with their life? Well... let's delve into what could create such a thing: good job, nice car, money in the bank, and freedom right? Yeah if you are a superficial lad lol. But to each his own... maybe you care more about financial stability, peace and serenity, love and happiness. The state of satisfaction is truly in the eye of the beholder.

Then there is the flip side to what we negatively interpret satisfaction to be, settling or giving up. How many times have you encountered a person that seems complacent with their life? Is it because they settled and made themselves okay with the situation? Is it because they gave up and had no other choice but to accept it? Or are they genuinely happy with what they have?

I raise this question because I often wonder, if there will be a point in time when I'll feel completely satisfied with my life, and I guess I won't know the question, until... I know. There are so many things that I am working to accomplish, but once those goals are completed what's next? Will there always be the next thing, or does it run out? Have you ever thought about what keeps the enormously wealthy billionaires ticking? Could it be the rush of knowing they are great at your craft? Is it the inspiration they provide to others? Or do they just truly enjoy life?

What do you guys think? Can satisfaction really be attainable long term? Or will there always be something to drive us to stray away from being content? Let's talk !

Celebrating a Legend !

Today would have been my late grandfather's 73rd birthday. For those that don't know, my family and I lost him to lung cancer only three short months ago. But I not only lost my grandfather... I lost a father and a hero. Every time I see the actor Morgan Freeman I think of him, I would always tell Pa Pa they look alike and he'd reply "Yeah but I'm prettier". Just thinking of his narcissism makes me smile, he always exuded confidence, and such charm and love for life.

When I think back on how significant he was on my life, words cannot begin to describe my gratitude. He was a father figure to so many people, yet biologically he only had three children, all girls. I think of how he married my grandmother and raised her two kids from a previous marriage like his own. I think of all the countless Christmas' and birthday's he helped provide for me. I think of how Pa Pa was everything to my cousin's and I that didn't have active fathers. There are so many memories of talks I would have with him about life and endless possibilities. I think of how he had to drop out of school his senior year and attain a full time job to provide for his mom and siblings, after she got hurt on the job. Most of all, I think of all the sacrifices he made for people and never complained. If there was one sure thing I knew I had, it was my Pa Pa.

Even now, my fondest memories would be going to visit him and just enjoying his company. Or when he would come spend the weekend with my mom and I occasionally, and I would cook for him; I miss just watching football and eating with him. He'd always say "I know you love me if nobody else does". And he'd always take my side if I had a disagreement with my mom, whether I was right or wrong lol, I knew he was gonna hold me down. Such beautiful memories I have to cherish for the rest of my life; Memories of moments past.

I am so grateful to have met such an amazing person; and to have had him for the first 24 years of my life. He taught me so much without saying, but through his actions. He was always there, to keep it real even if you didn't want to hear it lol. Always making people laugh and feel loved. Always being his charming self. Although it saddens me that he is no longer here, I am overjoyed that he doesn't have to suffer anymore. I am even quite envious that he has transitioned and reunited with so many family members. But I am thrilled that my newest guardian angel is someone I know without a doubt had my back since the day I was born. There is so much comfort in knowing that every step of the way he will be there to protect me and see my growth. I only hope I can continue his legacy and be as great a person as he was. If you are ever granted the opportunity to meet someone half as amazing as my Pa Pa, consider yourself lucky. Pa Pa was a rare gem and although he is gone, his presence is still gleaming beautifully.

Here's to you Pa Pa ! Happy Birthday to the best man that's ever been in my life, the only consistent father figure I've ever known, and a legend possessing so many wonderful traits. I celebrate your day and your essence.... no one can take away; You are everything... and everything is you !

Don't be S.A.F.E ( Scared Always Fearing Everything)

There are entirely too many people being safe in this world. But if you really want something you have to break away from your comfort zone and go for it without reservation. When you think of some of your favorite musicians, writers, actors, doctors and teachers... What do they all have in common? Drive ! And with drive there has to be ambitious and have no regard to negativity or failure. You have to channel those doubts and redirect your energy. And if you fail keep going, those failures are only stepping stones to where you want to be.

Think of the amazing gift you have that you aren't allowing the world to see. You are depriving yourself of the praise and recognition in addition to stifling your growth. Everyone has a talent and if it isn't used, you are only hurting yourself. What good is a safe life if you never went for what truly fulfills you. What is something that you enjoy and are great at? Would you do it for free and still be fulfilled? If the answer is yes, you should pursue a career in whatever makes you happy. Just think how awesome it would be to get a paycheck for doing something you love... It won't even feel like work, it would be more like doing your favorite hobby and getting rewarded for it.

Make today the day you decide to break out of your comfort zone and chase your dream. No one great ever made history by being safe and neither should you. Plant your seeds today and with time and dedication, watch them flourish. Don't ever let fear, doubt or naysayers stop you from showcasing your talent. Don't be safe, be great !

Saving Power... Power Saving

 *Disclaimer: This is a poem inspired by recent events with someone dear to me. It channels the perspective  of a person trying to save someone that wants to end it all.

Do you know what it's like to have someones life in your hands?

No really, their life... In your hands

Every word you speak could be the last

Consumed with thoughts of moments past

Someones sanity depends solely on you

Deciding to end it all and effect your life too

To be the chosen one with so much depth and burden

Knowing you have the power although the outcome is uncertain

Do u know what its like to have someones life in your hands?

Well I do and trust me... It's a delicate place to stand

* Happy Veterans Day to those that sacrificed their family and lives for our freedom. And this also goes to Veterans that have committed suicide due to the countless things they saw and encountered. But if you are a Veteran or anyone that is thinking of committing suicide don't do it, it's not worth it. You cannot leave this earth until God says it's time. And if nothing else... think of all the lives you will effect, there are people that care about you more than you know, people you may not even think do. You only have one life, don't end it mid-way and deprive yourself of all that life has to offer, anything worth having is worth the storm.

5 reasons...

Why I wanna be a kid again

5. Adulthood sucks. I don't know why my friends and I wanted to rush to be grown... I hate everything about it: responsibility, work, dating, loans, BILLS. When I think about it, there really are no perks !

4. Christmas gifts ! No one tells you that once you become an adult you don't get Christmas gifts, what a sad day that was when I discovered that unfortunate news. I still want to wake up early in the morning to dozens of presents under the tree dammit ! lol

3. No stress. I had no idea how stressful adulthood really was until I was a freshmen in college, all they say is "enjoy being young for as long as you can"; Had someone gave me the real synopsis of adulthood I would've appreciated being a child longer lol.

2. No accountability. As a kid I could do anything and not be held accountable, I can remember accidentally stealing cards to send to my dad because I didn't have money; let me "accidentally" steal something now and I'm going straight to jail, without collecting $200 lol.

1. Oblivion is bliss. Kids are often unaware of life's challenges and obstacles and only know what they believe to be true; All I knew was that I loved reading and writing, and I wanted to be a famous Author when I grew up... I want to go back to that wonderful state of mind. Although I am currently working towards making that dream a reality, it never occurred to me how difficult accomplishing that goal would be as a child... but I won't rest until it's done !

Don't let yesterday's test effect today's quest

Everyday that you wake and are given another chance at life should be cherished. Do you know how many people didn't make it through the night, or didn't wake up this morning? The fact that you did only means one thing, you still have work to do here. You cannot leave this Earth without completing your mission, whatever that may be, so don't allow past blues to alter your new hues.

There is a quote from one of my favorite Solange songs called T.O.N.Y that I absolutely live by: "I don't go with yesterday no more, now I'm feeling free. Today, tomorrow told me...that's where I should be". You have to free yourself of the past in order to allow yourself to meet your future. Anytime you are having a bad day, just think...tomorrow is a brand new day and a brand new start; Never let anything alter your journey, you will only be hurting yourself in the long run.

I know that job can be stressful. The kids were seriously getting on your nerves last night. Your cancer took a toll on you and you felt defeated. School is so overwhelming you don't know if you will successfully finish. Or someone disrespected you and made you question yourself or life. Let it go ! LET IT GO !

The beauty about life is that there is always a beginning and an end, this is guaranteed. Unfortunately all of the clutter in the middle is the most confusing. You cannot allow tests throughout life to effect the rest of your life. Test are supposed to make you stronger and resilient, don't let them stifle you, because you will be stifled the rest of your life. Make this life the best life you possibly can, and keep going no matter how hard it is. Yeah yesterday was disastrous, but today the chances of a brighter day are high. Live positive and watch positive surround you.

Have a great day Ryders, I love all of you !

Squeeze the hell out of life !

Live as if your days are numbered. Scratch off that bucket list, omit fear, shatter doubt and live !

In life it can be so easy to get stuck in a routine. Doing the same thing daily in my opinion is bad for the soul. Add a dash of spontaneity and make things interesting. Live for you, and do all of the things you want to.

So what you don't have money to do everything on your bucket list, improvise. Save money for the most important things you want to experience and take it one step at a time.

Don't set limitations on your life. And don't ever allow someone to place you in a box; Not at school, work, home or anywhere. And never settle for "the norm", you were born an original for a reason. When I initially started my blog I was apprehensive because I've yet to see "lifestyle inspirational" blogs on a massive platform. But then I decide, Why not do something you love and pave the way. After all, if I'm writing relateable material, people will eventually gravitate; and it's been an amazing journey so far as I approach my second month with over 1400 page views, and still surprisingly... international support!

Don't let anyone stifle you or tell you what you can or cannot do. Do what you love and everything else will fall into place. Squeeze the hell out of life until there's no more. No one ever regretted living well, the only regrets are missed opportunities.

What would life be without it's disappointments and reality checks?

I know you're probably saying LOVELY! But it would be very dull and predictable. Although we don't like to experience disappointment, it is inevitable in life. These instances build character and allow us to either become stronger or fold.

There would of course be pros, less heartache, tears and stress. But you would be robotic in a since. How could you ever really appreciate the good days if you've never experienced the bad? That's what I believe disappointments and reality checks are really designed for; To knock you back into life ! Often times we are so obsessed with the latest cars, clothes and gadgets, that we place more value on it than life itself. For all you iPhone users, just think how long you've held your breath when you dropped your phone... yeah I'm guilty too ! lol

Sometimes reality checks can be more crucial than disappointments, you know... those times when you think you are in control of your life, then God throws a curve ball and you realize you aren't lol. Yeah, I have been having those quite often, and although I could be upset, I laugh every time. There's nothing like a wake up call from someone that only wants to see you be great.

But just take a second and think... no disappointments, no reality checks. You would have the same routine life, no surprises, no excitement. You would essentially be in a bubble. Most cases, disappointments alter your perspective, so without it, we would probably be child-like with a wild imagination and content in oblivion. A perfect world has no meaning if you haven't experienced depths within life; Take those disappointments and reality checks as God's way of saying: "Not now, I have something better in store for you". Trust him, he won't lead you astray.

* Here is a snippet of one of my favorite movies The Truman Show, it's about an orphan baby that grows up in a "perfect world" only to find out in adulthood that he is the star in a hidden 24 hour reality show, everything he knows is fake: his friends, parents, and neighbors are all actors. And although he was heartbroken and disappointed, that reality check made him stronger and  resilient. 

Have e a peek below !

Listen to your failures

While it's so easy to sulk and complain about failures or mistakes, you should listen to them instead. As humans we often do things and expect them to happen the way we envisioned them to. But life happens and you have to roll with the punches, even if you are repeatedly getting punched, don't give up !

Life is about learning, that is one common trait that every human being has. You are never too old or young to learn, and sometimes failures are apart of that journey. You may have started a business that wasn't a success, but what did you take away from that experience? Did you learn how to market better? Learn how to manage funds better? Or even site locations to gain the most revenue better? No matter the situation, you should always learn from your mistakes.

 Some of the world's greatest inventors, writers, musicians, and CEO's failed before they succeeded. If they had given up, they wouldn't be where they are today. Stop looking at the now and think of what you want in the future. As I said in a previous post, plant your seeds today and watch them flourish in your future. It's up to you to create your destiny because no one else will do it for you. Let life's adversities and set backs motivate you to become even greater than you've ever imagined you could be. Your future lies in your hands !

If you don't learn from your failures you will find yourself trapped in a constant battle with yourself. You can't expect different results if your continue to use the same formula. It's okay to ask for help, it's better to get help than fail from being uneducated. Don't let fear or pride stop you from reaching your ultimate goal, whatever that may be. If at first you don't success, dust yourself off and try again.

5 reasons...

Life's unanswered questions will remain...

(But I wanted to address them anyway lol)

5. Why does Kanye think he's a God? Last I checked there was only one, so what could Kanye possibly possess that everyone else doesn't, other than an enormous ego? lol Talented musicians yes, god (the lowercase 'g' is intended) NOT A CHANCE IN HELL !

4.  Why do people that flex exist? The worst thing about a facade is that you have to maintain and live up to the standard you have set for yourself. And it has to be believable; do yourself a favor and stop frontin' for the people and live within your means... thanks, management.

3. Why do people cheat? I'm sure there will be several excuses, but why not just break up and go trick off as much as you want? I think cheaters are greedy and selfish, at least be thoughtful enough to at least attempt to save someone heartache.

2. Why don't people go to the dentist regularly? As much as people believe in, going to the dentist is not one of them; which is odd because you'll need your teeth for the rest of your life, not to mention you use them daily. This may seem bias coming from a self proclaimed 'teeth fetish-er' (not sure if I just created a word) but I am a sucker for healthy straight white teeth !

1. Why do people order mashed potatoes and fries together ?! That's like eating pickles and cucumbers together. It's the same damn thing ! What is your ultimate goal... to experience both textures at once? lol

Adventures with Allen: Embracing change

This week with Allen has been a transition for all of us. It's his dad's week, and his new wife had already moved in and was there when we arrived after school. Initially I didn't know how he would take it because he doesn't adapt to change well. A few weeks ago we altered his daily schedule (I usually pick him up from the bus stop, he has a snack, we go walk, and then either watch TV, play games or find something to do). This particular week he had been having fits in school, crying and not listening, so his Mom wanted to get him off the bus to talk to him about his behavior and have me come after. He did not appreciate my absence and made it known by pulling a plant out of the ground and sitting in the grass until I arrived.

Thankfully he shocked us all and has been so welcoming to her and her pets (she has one dog that hates me lol, and two cats). He's had such a great week, and I think it's due to the excitement of something new that he is okay with. Although he hasn't quite grasped the fact that she lives there now, having asked me several times if she was going back home (he's used to going to visit her at her place on the weekends) he is okay with the adjustment.

This week has been one of his best in a while. Last week was very trying. Monday he had a great day, we did our usual routine, but he randomly decided to switch things up when we passed a drain on our walk, and threw his glasses in. With his condition he reacts first and realizes afterward; he knew what he had done was wrong and didn't want to go home in fear that he would get in trouble with his Mom.Tuesday he was upset with me because I said he'd have to take a shower after I left; He then went on to lick his tongue out at me, and call me a "stupid butt-ass sex!"; While I can laugh now, it wasn't funny at the time lol. Then the next day he literally ran away from me at the mall, and wouldn't get out of the car for twenty minutes when we got back to his house.

As I had stated in a recent post I admire his tenacity, but another things I admire is his ability to move on. He can be so upset one minute and then... poof! as he would say lol he's over it. He never holds grudges and he always lives in the present. Allen is also quite solipsistic lol, he is very in-tune with his feelings and wants your full attention at all times. To Allen, he is the Sun and everyone else are Moons, and we better act accordingly lol. I've learned so much about myself since taking this job, I've grown more patient, understanding and appreciative of simple things. God always finds a way to send a message my way, but he's so unpredictable and slick with the way he chooses to convey them lol.

Judgement is apart of life

How many times have you missed out on opportunities because of other people? How many times have someones opinion altered your decisions? How many times have you wanted to do the unusual thing, step outside of yourself and be free, but didn't in fear of judgment from others? If your answer to any of these questions is more than once... we have a problem.

Stop living for other people that aren't living for you. You could spend your whole life pleasing others and they will still have an opinion about what you did. People will always have something to say about you... good, bad or indifferent, it's a catch-22. There is only one person you should live for and that is yourself. And the only judgement that counts is the one with the almighty power.

Don't let fear hold you from your full potential. Hiding who you truly are is not living. Free yourself of judgement from others... so what that's your best friend, someone you want to be your friend, a coworker or even your parents. You are doing them no good by trying to live up to their standards. And you definitely aren't helping yourself.

Be yourself, it's priceless and original. Nobody likes a carbon copy so you really have no choice but to embrace all of who you are. And the amazing thing about being true to you is that it will reflect, and strangers will appreciate what you have to offer. Live for you, do what you want, be free ! Never let someone else have the power of effecting anything you do, take control of your destiny and go wherever this life takes you. And let them talk because they will regardless, just make sure you give them something to talk about !

I've provided you guys a little Wednesday humor below to get you through your day, Enjoy !

Instances in Life

The spontaneity of life never seizes to amaze me. No matter how you plan out your life and envision it to be, there will always be an instance that alters your life in some way; it could be minute or drastic, a message or an experience... and most important of all you will never know when it's coming. That instance could come out of nowhere and change your entire viewpoint on life.

You could witness a tragic addict that alters the way you value things in your life. You could randomly meet your soul mate today. You could get a callback from that job you applied for months ago and hadn't heard from. Life is unpredictable, and the only one certain of the outcome is God. Follow his path he won't lead you astray.

I had a life altering instance July 3, 2008 at approximately 6 am. I woke up to a missed call from my cousin, which was weird because it was summer & he's never up that early. Long story short, my mother and I were alerted and shocked to find out that my Aunt had been robbed and shot in the head at her job by an ex employee and was being airlifted to Atlanta Medical. She was in a coma for 2 long weeks and my mother never left her side. Doctors said she wouldn't make it, but when she did wake up they said she would be a vegetable, then when she spoke and was cursing out nurses & trying to be in control like her usual feisty self, they said nothing. God has the final say, and that was when my belief of God grew stronger. Prior to that incident my mom and I were struggling and worrying about bills, and I would pray and pray and it seemed as if nothing would happen, and I began to lose faith. That incident with my Aunt restored my faith and gave me hope. Present day, my Aunt can do everything on her own: walk, talk, cook... well use the microwave lol etc. That ex employee tried to take her life, but God showed up and protected his child. No man can stand a chance against the power of God !

I say all of this to say, pay attention to life's unexpected instances. They are God's reality checks. Each instance is designed to make you think differently, and ultimately become a better person. Keep your eyes open, you could have a life altering instance heading your way as we speak !

Why dwell when you can revel ?

How long are you going to live in the past, hold grudges, and think "what if"? Dwelling on the past will only stifle you in the long run. You will never live up to your full potential if you allow your past to define your future. Stop letting failed relationships, jobs, and experiences consume you; Let it go and move on, everything happen for a reason, and what's meant to be will be, no matter the circumstance... what's rightfully yours will always prevail.

Just take a moment and think how peaceful life could be if you just let things go. Isn't that an amazing space to be in? You can have that serenity, it's yours for the taking ! Stop holding on to dead weight and hopeless "could have been's". Free yourself and you will open up possibilities you've never imagined before.

Whatever is holding you back or deterring you, reverse that energy. Let those obstacles fuel your drive to get to your goal. Give those nonbelievers something to talk about; First they will ask why you are doing it, but later they'll ask how you did it.

Revel in your uniqueness, embrace your flaws, and love yourself; There is no better love than self-love, you have to know your worth so that others will acknowledge it. This goes for jobs, relationships and life in general, no one will appreciate what you have to offer unless you believe in it first.

Today I challenge you to release those demons that stifle you from living in the present, and revel in the moment... be the best you, you can be and everything else will fall into place. Don't focus on the things you don't have and redirect your focus on the bigger picture. Make today be the fresh start you've been running from. After all, the new year is fast approaching and what better way to welcome it by eliminating all things that keep you from growing.