Are You A Builder or a Bandwagoner?

I believe there are 2 kinds of people in the world, those that build form the ground up, and those that jump on the bandwagon once things have clout or recognition. Which one are you?

Bandwagoners come in all shapes and sizes, and most important... outta nowhere. They are no where to be found when the ground work needs to be done, but as soon as there is an acclaimable milestone they want to take credit. The biggest bandwagoner I've ever met is my dad lol, he had no part in raising me yet always took credit; every graduation he wasn't there, nor was he invited but somehow he saw fit to brag and boast to the few friends and family that would have anything to do with him.

Builders are leaders, forward-thinkers, and innovators. I know that most, if not all, of my loyal Ryders are builders because you've been here with me form the start. This blog is something I hope you all feel you are apart of  and can be proud of, because without your viewership and support I wouldn't be writing. Builders don't take shortcuts or handouts. Builders are the difference between the sayers and the doers.

If you find that you are currently a bandwagoner it's not too late to switch teams. In fact, I challenge you to come to the winners circle, but not for temporary purposes (as you all so often do) but to create something within yourself that sustains the test of time. And for the builders, keep at it until you get it, hard work never goes unnoticed. Happy Mid-Week Ryders !

Peer Pressure Doesn't End In High School

As kids we're told not to succumb to peer pressure, but what do you when it happens in adulthood? Thanks to our trusty near and dear friend social media, peer pressure doesn't end in high school; you don't even have to be around the person to feel the pressure of not feeling good enough, envy, and negative self evaluation.

I've fallen victim of looking at people I went to high school with and comparing my life to theirs. Some are doing really bad, some have kids, and some are doing exceptionally well. And for the ones doing exceptionally well, it's hard not to have a tiny bit of envy, especially when you're not where you know you have the potential to be yet.

It's natural to want more for yourself, hell it's natural to compare yourself to others... we're basically programmed to do so as adolescents. But it's not good to feel bad about your circumstances because of others. Never feel pressure to do or be anything that goes against what you believe in. Move at your own pace, don't let someone tell you what you should be doing.

Don't give into peer pressure, it's stressful and helps you in no way. Every one's stories are different, as are their journeys; which is why we all have to follow our own paths to acquire the things that we desire. But if you take nothing from this post, know that nothing comes without a sacrifice. You can't expect to get everything you want out of life without giving something in return.

Live your life to the best of your abilities and give it all you've got. That car, house, family, vacation will all come in it's perfect timing; don't force it or rush it... it will all fall into place. Just live and be happy, there's already too many people that aren't, there's no room for you to join them, sorry lol. Have a great day Ryders love you all !

Learn The Ability to Follow-Through

How many projects, experiments, jobs or diets have you quit prematurely in the last year? What made you give up? Was it the lack of quick results, or the drive to do it? Whatever the case may be, you didn't follow through, and in life it's essential to your success that you make following-through a priority.

I had to ask myself the same questions last year, and I have to say I wasn't happy with the answer. Last year (as some of you may know) I gained and quit 3 jobs consecutively. After the last one, I had to step back and evaluate my life, although I didn't regret quitting any of the jobs, I did miss the revenue. There's nothing like having your own money... nothing ! Any who, all my life I've held a certain pride for finishing almost everything that I start, be it school or personal goals. It wasn't until I had a real heart-to-heart with myself, then my Mom, that I realized why I wasn't following-through.

You see, the key to finishing anything in life is having a love for it. If there is no love at the starting point, the finish line with never be acquirable. The love is what reminds you why you started when you want to give up. When there is no love, there is no hope. I couldn't follow-through in any of those jobs because I didn't love it, and once I found something I did (working with Allen and writing) it all made sense.

Whatever you want out of this life make sure it's initiated with love. If you want to lose weight, start by loving the stage you're at now. If you want a job doing something you love, start doing it now for free. If you want to go to school, major in something you love, that way it will be rewarding and exciting. And if you want a relationship, start with yourself, love on you and appreciate yourself first, no one can love you like you can.

Make today the day that you decide to stop starting and stopping mid-way; Stop taking shortcuts and focus on one full route... your route. Dedicate the time, nurture it, protect it, and eventually your love will allow that job, project, class, or yourself to flourish.

5 reasons...

Stay-cations can be FUN

(in Atlanta)

So let's face it, not everyone can afford to go to the beach, or to another state; However, if you live in Atlanta, here are some cool things you can do (I know I will) for the summer. Just because you're staying home doesn't mean it has to be the same ol thing, explore your city !

5.

 

Shooting Range. Like the late great 2pac once said: I ain't a killa but don't push me. Lol I wouldn't kill my worst enemy, maybe beat them lol but killing is too far gone. I don't know why but the shooting range is sexy to me lol. There's something about the idea of having a target to take your aggression/frustration out on; But if you could actually bring pictures to shoot at, then we would really be talkin' lol.

4.

 

Six Flags. Roller coasters, water rides, and funnel cake... what more could you ask for? I am still a big kid at heart if you couldn't tell. And who doesn't like Six Flags? *raises hand* Well I didn't... only because I stayed literally 5 minutes away from it lol. But like all things, you don't know what you've got until it's gone, more like 30 miles away, gone lol. I can't wait to get my crew together for a day of fun at the park, and we have to get VIP passes, cause that whole waiting-in-line ordeal is so 90s lol.

3.

GA Aquarium. I'm actually ashamed to say that I haven't been to the aquarium yet. It's been up for how many years now? And it's the biggest in the world. Not to mention I'm a Pisces for heaven's sake ! lol Anyway, I'd imagine this would be a good date-night idea for that special someone. An evening stroll, and great conversation underneath some of the world's most beautiful aquatic creatures... can you say, major points earned !

2.

 

Andretti's. If you are an adrenaline junky like myself this is the place for you. I have had this on my adventure list for some time now, and this summer I will make it a priority. As if indoor go-karting wasn't enough, there are plenty of other games to fulfill your competitive appetite. So what are you waiting for? Grab some of your closest friends (or new friends, would be great for an icebreaker) and head to Alpharetta for a night of non-stop trash talking and entertainment.

1.

 

Wine Tasting. If you know me, making this number one was a no-brainer lol. My sweet loyal Ryders, no I'm not a wino...I just like to get my Olivia Pope on every so often lol. I'm actually doing this tomorrow, so I will let you guys know how it goes. I'm always looking for something different, and wine tasting just sounds so grown and sexy. Plus getting dressed up to have a "Sex & The City" moment with the girls is always welcomed. On another note, I'm mad it took an episode of RHOA to make me aware of a wine vineyard in Georgia lol, who knew?!

Failure IS an option...

But the choice is yours. To try and fail, you gain knowledge... But to never try, you've failed by default. The difference you seek is based solely on you; either you want to win or you want to watch others, there's no in-between.

The worst thing you can do is let failure dictate your life. If one failed attempt will stop you, you never really wanted it anyway. Obstacles are created to see the character in a person; there is no character in never trying. It's all about withstanding the storm and persevering despite all odds. A strong foundation makes for a sturdy home.

There is much to be said about a person that has everything to lose, but does it anyway; And quite contrarily, a person that has nothing to lose but everything to gain. What do these two people have in common you ask? Courage. Courage is that extra push when you feel like giving up, that energy shot when you have none left, and that trophy at the end of the finish line.

Chose to make a difference in your life today, no matter how small it may seem; slow progress is better than no progress. Decide that failure will not define you and that you will take from each setback and grow. No one ever got to their dreams without obstacles, face them and keep moving forward. It'll give you something to talk about when you've made it.You only get one story, make sure the chapters are interesting.

Play Strategically With The Hand You Were Dealt

In many cases, the life you are given isn't exactly under the best of circumstances. Whatever your situation is, understand that it's not in vain; And most importantly, know that your current surroundings don't dictate your future. It's all about your approach at life.

I believe that your life is defined by what you believe in- Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopez

If you want more out of life you have to chase it with full force. Don't just go after it then stop, if you get tired walk until you can pick up the pace again. This pertains to anything in life: careers, relationships, goals. There should be nothing  that can stop you from going after what you desire. You have to establish that mentality as soon as you decide the importance of what you are after.

 Just because you were born without, doesn't mean you have to leave the same way. Anything in this life is attainable if you put the adequate amount of attention towards it. A seed will bloom into a flower with the right amount of sunlight and water, and so will your life's purpose. Believe in yourself enough to give something your all; That way, even if you fall short, it isn't a failure it's a lesson.

Nothing in this life will be given to you, don't expect any handouts. Prepare to face countless obstacles and setbacks before you reach one milestone. Appreciate the journey, it's there to build character and level you up with whatever goal you're headed towards. Be patient, your time will come, and when it does... revel in it.

5 reasons...

I watch YouTube

5.

LivingWithTodd. He is best friends with #3 on this list, and is how I was introduced to him. We are very similar because he doesn't have kids but always has his brother/nephews/niece lol; That's me to a T. Aside from that, he's funny as hell. Ever heard of the "100 gees" dance? He's the creator, and every time he cranks it I die lol. They say laughter is good for the soul, he definitely contributes to it.

4.

NecoleBitchie. Everyone who knows me knows Necole is my girl. She is my favorite blogger, and can do no wrong in my eyes. She's edgy, chic and relatable. BitchieTV provides videos of intimate interviews with some of the hottest celebrities. I recently went to her channel this week to catch Part 1 of the August Alsina interview which was well orchestrated on her end; there's a lot to be said in a journalistic perspective when you can get an Artist to feel comfortable enough to openly talk about their deepest secrets. Salute to you girl !

3.

ADayWithKev. This guy is the definition of hilarious ! lol Kev is also the realest... some may say too real. His channel is basically "a day in the life" themed, often showing his cute little boy "Jay Baby" and his "Cuddies" straight outta Bakersfield, California. If I wanna see some pure uncensored ignorance I go straight to his page; never a dull moment I tell ya. Chuppy !

2.

GabeBabeTV. They are an interracial couple, similar to Whitney and Felipe, and have the cutest little boy Chad Jr. It's cool to see their growth as a couple, having gone to the same high school (unbeknownst to each other) and meeting on social media. One thing I love more than anything is Chad Sr's love for Gabe; he never misses a beat telling her how beautiful she is or how much he appreciates her, guys take notes ! lol

1.

DearNaptural85. This channel hands down is the reason why I watch YouTube daily. I just wanna make it known that Whitney and Felipe are friends in my head lol, and who can resist Olivia's beauty and charm?! There are so many gems in their videos: freestyles, Oliva's extreme side-eye, Felipe's randomness, and the feeling of taking the journey through life together; I think I gravitate to them more because it's what I envision doing with all you guys (my Ryders) this journey is ours together.

The Best Don't Always Make It

There you go again comparing your life to others. What a boring life it would be if we all mimicked each others lives. Thank God he has a sense of humor, don't think I could live in a bland world lol. Like the old saying goes: "Everything that glitters ain't gold." And more importantly, everything is not always as it seems.

Yeah... from the outside looking in, that person has everything you desire, and are living the life you envisioned for yourself, but at what cost? What has that person sacrificed to get where they are? or what are they going through now? Every person is battling a struggle that you nothing about, they may not speak on it or showcase it, but the battle still exists.

So there's this dream you've been wanting to start working towards for some time now, but just don't feel that you're ready yet. What's stopping you? That dream won't seek you, you have seek it. Stop comparing yourself to others, you are only stopping your growth and holding your gift hostage. Let your talent free, it deserves to breathe.

There will always be someone better, but what separates them from the next person is their work ethic. Hard work beats talent if talent doesn't work hard. There is someone out there that is better than your favorite actor, writer and singer; and although it may be hard to believe, there is an unsigned woman somewhere in this world that can out sing Beyoncé, but the lack of work ethic destroyed her ability to showcase her talent.
Moral of the story, let your talent speak for itself, but match your talent with drive, that's what will get you to the finish line. You are grand, but you have to believe it !

There Are A Million Reasons Why You Shouldn't ... Do It Anyway

The scary thing about dreams is, you can have them but you aren't 100% sure if you will attain them. With dreams it's pretty much an even divide... there are those that reached them and those that fell short. Inevitably, it's your choice whether or not you will meet your dreams face-to-face.

No one can tell you what you can't do, well they can... but you have to prove them wrong. There's no better validation than doing something someone said you couldn't. It's something so powerful that words won't suffice, only actions. But you have to choose early on if you will live the life a pessimist or an optimist, that's your starting point.

Never let anyone tell you that your dreams are too big or far fetched; who wants a dream that's mediocre? no one. You should always have big dreams and want more for yourself. It gives you something to work towards, and allows grow along the process; Then once you've reached your dream you can truly appreciate it because you've essentially grown with it.

Whatever it is you want to be in this life go after it. I don't care if you get a 100 setbacks before one opportunity arises, don't give up. Setbacks are just setups for what's to come, it's God's way of saying not that way, pick another route. Life is a maze, reaching the finish line is optional.

If You Have To Pick An Idol, Pick Yourself

When you're young it's second natural to idolize everything/everyone that isn't you. It could be a big cousin, older sibling or a celebrity. We are essentially brainwashed and programmed as children to look up to someone as a guidance for our lives.

However, when you get older, that idol you once had and maybe even glorified doesn't seem quite deserving. You begin to see them from a new perspective and can realize who they really are. It's a sad day when the person you've idolized for years doesn't fit the standard you placed them in. So it's better to have a mentor than an idol because you can look up to a mentor and seek guidance without placing them at the top of the totem pole with unrealistic expectations.

That's why I suggest idolizing yourself. This isn't a act of arrogance or narcissism. It's actually a personal challenge to live up to the person you feel  your "would be Idols" should. It's also a great form of discipline because every decision you make determines your path to your destiny. Are you gonna go left or right?

Another great thing about idolizing yourself is the lack of disappointment. When people let you down in life you feel hurt because you expect more, and because you would do it for them. But when you're the Idol, the chances of disappointing yourself are less because you know what you expect. It's all about bettering yourself, enriching your life and setting goals and standards to abide by. Try it out, you'll thank yourself later.

5 reasons...

3rd time ISN'T a charm

5. 

Love Triangle. Ever been in a love triangle? I haven't but just the thought of it is odd. It's inevitable that someone feels abandoned and left out; besides, who wants to go through the drama of balancing two people? I'd imagine it to be quite expensive as well.

4. 

3rd wheel. Tagging along can be so awkward. I've fallen victim to the 3rd wheel predicament a few times and while I made the most of it, at times I wanted to disappear. There's nothing worse than 3rd wheelin' with a couple that connoisseurs in PDA, can you say BREATHE ! Lol

3. 

Death. It is believed that bad things come in threes, especially in regards to death. I've witnessed this myself, it's like a ricochet effect. It is the same for natural disasters, life altering and uncontrollable, but inevitable nonetheless.

2. 

3rd place. If you're not first you're last. No one does anything to get the bronze medal, especially when the gold is shinning so bright. There's no worse feeling than failure, although it gives you tough skin, that's not a position anyone wants to be in.

1. 

Marriage. I feel like after you've gotten married & divorced twice it's a wrap lol. Some things shouldn't be revisited, and to me saying ' I do' a third time is just a game; it's pretty much a joke to see if you've still got it, look at J Lo & Kim K lol, they're just gonna keep at it until they get it right. In this case practice doesn't make perfect lol.

The Best Gifts in Life Are Free

When you reflect on life, what are the things that matter the most? Family, Friends, Love, & Memories are all free. Instances in life linger in your heart because of the way your mind remembers it made you feel. Cherish it, those things are priceless.

People often think that money makes you rich, but if you have people in your life that genuinely care about you, you're richer than you think. It's not about what someone can do for you, it's about someone enriching your spirit.

The best gift you could ever give to someone, even a complete stranger, is kindness. It could be a kind gesture, compliment, helping hand, simple hello, or words of encouragement; while it may not seem like much to you, it could make someones day.

I try to make it a point to do at least one good deed for the day. It's the little things that stand out amongst everything else. Show your loved ones you care by sending a text of appreciation, help an elder put groceries in the car, or volunteer to feed the less fortunate. We are all here to do God's work, let his light be the source of your motivation. Have a safe and productive day guys, love you all !

Shortcuts Short You

Life would be so much easier if there was a shortcut for everything, but it wouldnt be as fulfilling. What could you appreciate if you didn't travel the entire route? Where would your depth come from? Life is about overcoming obstacles and facing adversity, it builds character and makes you tough.

In school we were told: "cheaters never win", and although we couldn't see it then, it stands to be true. When you cheat, you cheat yourself. The thing about shortcuts is it's gratifying during but after the gilt sets in. You know that feeling when you haven't done your best or all you were supposed to. Overlooking details, and speeding through important information only hurts you, because it's there for a reason.

Lying resonates in the same form. To be a liar you have to be determined, alert and dedicated. Have you ever just sat and thought about a liars life? Lol it's a lot of work. The worst thing about lying is you have to keep it up; once you tell one lie you have to match that lie with another, not to mention remembering them all lol, ain't nobody got time for that !

Anything worth having won't come quick or easy; take the necessary steps to succeed and attain your dreams the right way. You will save yourself a lot of work by doing it right the first time. So remember shortcuts short you, and hard work pays off. Happy Wednesday Ryders !

A Selfish Mindset is Allowed... Every So Often

It's okay to be selfish, in fact I recommend it; And when I say selfish I mean being attentive to your needs for a change and loving yourself. Every so often you should take time for yourself and focus on your well being. It could be an hour out of everyday that you take time to do something for yourself; or it could be once a week, the beauty about it is that it's completely up to you.

With all of the stress and pressure that adulthood brings, something so simple as spending time alone... something that should be a no-brainer, is almost always put on the back burner. And for those that have kids, jobs, school, and the ever draining balancing act of juggling relationships with family, friends and significant others, there's hardly any time in the day to breathe. However, that time alone is just as essential as breathing.

Some of my favorite things to do alone is go to the nail salon for a relaxing pedicure, get a massage (there are great deals on Groupon, LivingSocial, and Halfoffdepot), go to the park, write, enjoy a glass of wine while read a good book, or just watch a movie. You don't have to do these things, but the point is to do something you enjoy to balance the chaos of life.Just as you work to maintain relationships with others, the most important one is the relationship you have with yourself. Treat yourself, you deserve it.

Another thing I recently discovered that I enjoyed was eating alone. I'd always thought people that ate alone in restaurants were so brave and liberated, and after partaking, I'm glad I did. There's something so empowering about being confident enough to sit alone and spend time with yourself. As I always like to say: Self love is the best love. Learn to enjoy your own company, you will never be disappointed.

Put 1 Foot in front of the other

And never look back ! As long as there is breath in your body, and life in your soul you are blessed. Walk into your future with tunnel vision. Change is apart of moving forward, if God wanted us to dwell in the past he would have changed the direction of our feet.

That saying: "put your best foot forward" means walking with destiny and living the life you deserve to. If you are in motion, and changing, it represents growth. And If you aren't growing you're dwindling.

At times it can be hard to get up and walk away, especially when the sense of familiarity is present; but it is essential to your well being. It's up to you to know when it's time to move on to bigger and better things. Carpe Diem ( Seize the day) by doing something out of the ordinary and see what you get in return. Have a good Monday, until next time.

It's okay to unplug

Let's face it, social media today is what crack was in the 80s. Yes, it's that toxic and addictive. There are a million ways to stay "connected" to family, friends and even strangers. It's weird when you actually think about it... 9/10 your Instagram is composed majorly of people you don't know. And to think you're exposing pictures, and locations to people you've never met, it's quite creepy.

When things get hectic and the sounds of the world are too loud, shut it off. It's okay to disconnect and regroup, in fact I recommend it for your own sanity. You spend the entire day scrolling, liking, commenting and taking screenshots...too much of anything is bad for you. Give your eyes and fingers a break and do something different like read a book, take a walk in the park or have a face-to-face conversation with a friend (crazy to think it's so rare these days that we utilize direct conversation). Social media separates and misinterprets conversations, take it old school and cut the middle man.

The world today is based around technology and the latest gadgets. People go to concerts and clubs jut to Instagram their location. Thereby bringing about the question: Are we living in the moment or just capturing it? I'll let you decide for yourself. As helpful and forward thinking modern technology as come, it hurts us because we become dependent on it and lazy. When was the last time you wrote a letter? Not a typed letter on the computer equipped with spellcheck, a handwritten letter with all it's flaws and glory? And dare I not ask about stamps and envelops lol, sad that future generations won't know the joy receiving a letter in the mail from a pen pal or loved one. If we don't use it, we lose it... simple. I challenge you to take a break, and appreciate life disconnected.

Don't worry it will all be there during and after your hiatus; Chances are you won't miss anything of importance anyway. Unplugging is about centering your energy so that you can have a more balanced life. And if you're wondering, yes I practice what I preach. Every so often I disconnect for a weeks time to gather my thoughts and focus on myself. It's therapeutic and similar to meditation in regards to thinking clearly. Give it a shot, don't think you can do a full week, try 1 or 2 days first. You're essentially weening yourself off of your addiction, it takes time.

*** #Iwannaknow

What is your favorite form of social media, and why?

Stop Self Sabotaging

How many times have you talked down to yourself this week alone? How often do you berate and belittle yourself? If the number is above 0, you've got major work to do. One thing every human being has in common with the next is the ability to be ones worst critic. It's second nature to look at yourself, see the things you don't like, and compare yourself to others; But in life you have to learn to love the things you cannot change, and work towards changing the things you can.

Self sabotaging comes in a plethora of forms:

 1. Relationships- things are going good and it feels weird so you just have to take it upon yourself to "shake things up"; It's not healthy or enriching to your life, if things are good embrace it, you deserve to experience real love.

2. Jobs- You're afraid to apply to certain jobs because you don't feel you are qualified or worthy. Apply ! You don't know what God has in store for you, your future could be right in front of you.

3. Attitude- You are constantly complaining and finding the negative in every situation and wonder why people don't want to be around you. Stop putting negative energy into the universe and see how fast your surroundings change for the better. Your attitude determines so much in your life, a negative attitude will block opportunities.

4. Opportunities- That beach trip you recently turned down could have been the best time of your life, but you're self conscience about your weight. Stop setting limitations, it will only stifle your growth and bind your happiness. And if God wanted the world to be without character he would have made us all a size 2.

5. Dreams- You don't think you're "good enough" to pursue your dreams. You think there is someone more talented, better looking, and well spoken that better fits the bill. You are more than good enough, and your talent speaks for itself. Stop letting fear hold you back and go after what you believe in; you've got a story to tell and no one can tell your success story but you.

 What is it that is holding you back? Channel that particular thing and make peace with it. The only way that you get over your fears is by addressing them directly. Not peaking in on them, asking others to check up on them, but actually looking each fear in the face. You have the talent, you just have to believe in it. Trust your instincts and they will return the favor.

Today is the day that you let go of all the things that have stopped you from being great. Don't waste another minute feeling sorry for yourself and your circumstances, do something about it ! Self conscience about your weight? eat healthier and exercise. Want a better job, go after what you know you deserve. Want a drama free relationship? Stop picking the wrong people, or in contrast, stop sabotaging good things. We are not able to change all flaws, but the ones we can should be altered in the most delicate of manners. Have a great day guys !

It's never a right time to say goodbye

This has been an amazing journey but I've decided to end it here. There are a lot of technical things that aren't working well, and in doing so, hindering my creativity. This blog has been a wonderful platform and starting point for me; Maybe I will start anew one day but as of now I'm throwing in the towel.

April Fools !

I know some of y'all are mad at me but I couldn't miss the opportunity to get you guys lol. The blog will be here as long as I have breath in my body. This is my baby but this is collectively our journey together. I can't wait to look back at this post 4 or 5 years from now and see the growth.

With every milestone this blog acquires I want to share it with you all because without you this blog would be nothing. Yes they are my words and ideas, but if no one received/read what I had to say it would be pointless.

I guess what I am trying to say is thank you. Thank you for inviting me into your homes, cars, work, and most importantly hearts. I will never take for granted the page views and comments you all contribute. I appreciate you taking time out of your day to read what I have to say. Thank you for being a watchful eye, listening ear and confidant. Until next time... I love you !