5 reasons...

I'm grateful for YOU !

(My Ryders)

5. Journey. This is my baby. This is my everything. But this is our journey together. A part of each and every one of you is embedded in this blog. We started this thing together, so we might as well ryd it to the top together !

4. Motivation. There are plenty of days that I don't want to post anything, but I do it because of you guys. I know that if my words touch only one person, I've gained an inch of success, closer to my dreams. Thank you for being my motivating force, especially on bad days ! lol

3. Inspiration. My profile says it all: "I live for inspiration, and if I can give as much as I receive, I will complete my purpose in this life". I am inspired daily by experiences, stories, and optimists. My only goal is to let you guys know how much you have to offer to the world, then go for it as I did.

2. Love. There's this quote: "When you do things from the soul, people really dig that shit" and it couldn't be truer. I give everything in my posts and receive it back tenfold. Words can't express my appreciation for each and every one of you. I love you all from the bottom of my heart.

1. Support. I started this blog in hopes to reach the masses, but never envisioned the outpouring love and support I've experienced so far. You know... you set out to do things a certain way, but things don't always go according to plan. If I had one reader I would be happy, motivated to get more lol, but happy nonetheless. I've only been blogging for four brief months, and I can honestly say it was the best decision I ever made. Much love to my Ryders in the states as well as international, you are appreciated !

*** This was a record high for my blog. I will never forget the way I felt when I saw the viewership; There was no better affirmation I could have received. Thank you for everything, you are the reason I do this.

Life is a Maze...

If you hit a dead end, turn around and try again

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know

everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold

We are all in this maze called life. Anxious for fulfillment. Stumbling along the way, reaching dead ends, and setbacks. All to reach the light at the end of the tunnel... happiness. Not that fake 'it looks good on the outside' happiness, genuine happiness in it's purest state.

Contrary to popular belief it is attainable. With time, all things are attainable if you believe. Happiness is often equated to money, or things of monetary value, but true happiness doesn't have anything to do with that. Happiness is a state of mind, not a sum of money. If you have a great family, a few good friends, and a significant other, you are richer than you think.

This journey through life can be a tough road. No one can predict the future, yet the future holds what we all desire. The endless possibilities, opportunities, and new beginnings. These obstacles we face in life often shape us into who we are.

Your dream is yours. People may have similar dreams, but no one can take away what you are passionate about. Often we let fear determine our future. Don't fuel that fear, ride this journey out until you see that light; this maze is intended to be completed, and you don't want to miss that rush of adrenaline when you've come face-to-face with your destiny !

***Note to Ryders: I just want to apologize for my impromptu hiatus. Although it was small, I felt I owed it to y'all to explain. So if you don't live in Atlanta or don't watch the news, the past two days have been a "snowpocalyptic" disaster ! Long story short, failed preparation by the mayor and governor for a snow storm turned horrible and family and friends of mine were stuck on highways overnight and there was no way I could help, which inevitably stressed me out. Everyone is safe now, but I appreciate your viewership, patience and loyalty... I'm B-A-C-K ! lol

Don't be Pushed by your Problems, Be Driven by your Dreams !

You is kind.

You is smart.

You is important.

- Viola Davis in The Help

Yes you ! You are all of those things and more, so stop downplaying yourself. You are amazing despite all you've been through. You are a warrior on God's front line, don't ever forget it.

There's is so much potential in what you can offer the world. Your dreams will be bigger than you'd ever imagined, if you actually go for it, and give it your all. God's gift to you is your talent, you gift to him is using it, and when you use it completely, the rewards won't stop rolling in because he appreciates the sacrifice and time you endured to get there.

Fear can be the biggest setback in life, sure it's easy and safe to sit back and be "regular" but you won't be happy... or fulfilled. Don't let your dream fade away, it's yours and nobody else's. We are all here to complete a task, so if you don't have a purpose, essentially your existence is in vain.

No more excuses. No more wasted time. The time is now ! Get up and do what you need to do to make your life meaningful. You are the secret ingredient in a melting pot of greatness lol. Yeah it will be hard... there will be competition, you will sacrifice a lot, you will be tired, you will feel like giving up; But in the end, it will all be worth it. Your dream career is more attainable with each day you work towards receiving it. So get started, you've got a date with destiny and you can't be late !

5 reasons...

My favorite movies are the ishhh !

5.

And the finale ! This is hands down the best gangsta movie I've ever seen. There are so many epic parts, I can't choose my favorite. This movie encompasses the perspective of what goes down in the hood in every element: you have Nino and Gee Money the drug dealers, Pookie the crackhead, and Scotty the undercover cop that finds out Nino killed his mother. One of my favorite quotes, that is less vulgar and appropriate for blogging is: "It's always business, never personal"; and while unfortunate in the movie, those are certainly words to live by.

4.

This one's for the ratchets ! lol I had to do it. As hood, warped-minded, and dysfunctional as this movie is, it's still one of my favorite's. There is an underlying message most don't get, but if you really pay attention it speaks volumes to a lost generation. And in-between fights, shoot-outs and relationships drama's I managed to obtain one of my favorite quotes to start the day: "Today I begin a new life, for I am the master of my abilities and today will be a great and beautiful day".

3.

And the love continues... but stay with me, it takes a turn in a second lol. The movie is so timeless and simple. And maybe I gravitate to this movie because I've met someone online that turned into a relationship, but this movie is gold! You gotta love a movie with Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks with a sprinkle of Dave Chappelle lol. But when they meet in the park and Kathleen says: "I wanted it to be you" my heart melts and I almost want to cry (yes almost, I'm still a G lol).

2.

Yes ! I'm a sucka for love lol can't help it, always have been. This movie is everything ! Love, Spoken Word, and Vulnerability at it's height. There's something amazing when actor's mesh so well it feels real. And when Darius says: "I love you... and that's urgent like a motherf#@*&!" it's like all the stars align for a magical moment in film history.

1. 

How can you not love this combination of genius? Sanaa and Omar are magic on film! This has been my favorite movie since it came out in 2000, and I know every word verbatim lol. Remarkable acting, dope soundtrack, and it evokes every emotion. This is a modern day love story, and what makes it brilliant is it's honesty... flaws and all.

Date with Destiny

I've got a date with destiny 

I can't be late

These dreams are anxious and cannot wait

I've got a dream to accomplish

With no plan B

There's generations to inspire

Long after me

I've got a story to tell... the highs and lows

The nonbelievers and endless No's

I've got a date with destiny the time is now

I can't live in regret... no way no how

You are what you believe

So what are you? Do you speak negatively about yourself? Are you your worst critic? or Are you optimistic and realize that what you are now and have been doesn't dictate your future? I'd hope you all are optimists, but the reality is, almost everyone is their worst critic, and it takes time to see things from an optimists perspective.

The truth is, it's okay to have bad days, but if your bad days outweigh the good... it's time to do some reevaluating. When you decide that you are amazing and worthy of all things great in this world, that is the day everything will change in your life. You can't think negative and expect a positive outcome.

Holding yourself back will only make you regret it in the long run. Go for whatever it is you want out of this life, you only get one. Make the best out of your experiences and live in a way that regret doesn't exist. Do everything you've ever wanted to, attain that dream, it's yours for the taking.

Believe in you and everyone else will. Whatever you have to offer the world shouldn't be retained because of fear, doubt and negativity. Give the world a chance to see what God did when he gave you your gift, don't let it go to waste. No need to wait or make any more excuses, the day is still young... let's see what you can do to jump start your future.

Dare to be Vintage

What makes you...YOU? What gives you an adrenaline rush? What is your ultimate dream? Don't just think of what you want now, always forward-think. What is going to make what you have to offer the world timeless?

We all want something that will remain once we pass away; But longevity comes after a firm foundation has been established. What is your classic ode to the world? Really think about what you want to be remembered as long after you're gone.

Think of your grand-children's grandchildren future. If you are going to dream big you might as well be iconic. Build something that will withstand the test of time, an imprint that won't vanish after a new generation  is born.

If you offer the world everything you have while delivering quality work, people will appreciate it. In more cases than none, quality rules quantity. Forget the pressures of deadlines and stock, if the product is genuine your loyal customers won't stray... they'll wait no matter how long it takes.

So stop being your worst critique, stressing and over thinking. Whatever you have to offer is more than good enough, just do it to the best of your abilities. Dare to be vintage and create something that is monumental, but most importantly... your own. Own who and what you are. Own what you have to offer the world. Be a motivating force for generations to come. Who's a better candidate than you to be the poster child of success? Do your part and everything else will fall into place.

One Monkey Don't Stop No Show !

If you will allow one person to stop you from being great, you were never destined to be- CM

There will always be someone that doesn't believe in you and will berate you in hopes that eventually you won't believe in yourself; 10/10 that person had someone kill their dream, so the natural thing to do was to transfer that negative energy by becoming a dream killer. Hurt people hurt people, it's not fair or right, but it's a given in life.

A dream is only attainable if you want it more than anything. I recently saw a quote that said:

 "You have to want your dream as much as you want to breathe"

 I found it to be both motivational and inspirational; If you want something that bad you must be willing to sacrifice and give your all. It reminded me of my idea of marriage.

I may be one of a very small percentage that still thinks marriage, the joining of two people becoming one, is sacred. I'm a hopeless romantic, and when I marry, I only want to do it once,which is why I'm so "old-fashioned" about dating. I don't wish to date many men to feel wanted, I wish to meet one man that makes me feel like God hand-picked him just for me.

People can be cruel when they are unhappy. Everyone has a history, but it's not the circumstance that molds who you are or have the potential to be, it's how you choose to deal with it. No matter what keep going for what you believe in, even if no one believe in you. In the beginning they will laugh, but in the end you'll have the last laugh when you have attained your dream.

That one monkey only has power if you feed into the negativity. Why is it that when we hear a compliment we second guess it, but when we hear something negative we believe it? Change your mindset and your surrounds will follow. Stop thinking that someone is giving you a sideways compliment, take it and appreciate it. Don't believe the negative, stop being your worst critic and go be great ! The only person stopping you is YOU, what are you waiting for?!

5 reasons...

Dating in the 21st Century is IMPOSSIBLE (for me at least)

5. You can't be available. If you are only talking to one person you are too available, you're supposed to have more than one prospect to keep the one you really want attention smh. People don't believe in exclusivity, everybody wants to juggle and multitask everything, even dating ! Why do guys want a chick that entertains other dudes?

4. You can't show that you like them. Even if you do ! Forget telling them how you feel and expecting the same in return. In this crazy ass day in age you have to keep them guessing, so even if you really like them the "thrill of the chase" still remains a challenge.

3. You have to ignore calls/text. We all know what it's like to get that call/text from the girl/guy you're diggin'. You can get texts all day from people but when that text comes in... It's like a surge of adrenaline goes through your entire body lol. But you can't answer or call right back, you have to make them wait hours to make it seem as if you were busy. And nobody likes a text right back so go do something you never do, like read and then come back and respond.

2. You have to lie. So it's Friday night and your new prospect wants to go out last minute, you have to lie and say you already have plans (but leave it at that, don't give major details) to keep him guessing, although we all know you're gonna be at home in you pj's wishing you were with her/him.

1. You can't be yourself. Everything that comes natural to you is obsolete. Long gone are the days where there are no stupid rules/games to dating. All the things that come natural to you (self expression, honesty, straight-forwardness, availability to what matters, quick response) has to be temporarily etched out of your brain, until the man/woman of your dreams becomes your boyfriend/girlfriend. But it doesn't stop there... Everybody knows *insert Phaedra from RHOA voice* that you can't give your boyfriend all of you so restrictions still apply until you are married.

*** P.S. I don't know who came up with this and why it has become a universal code of ethics but I can't get with it ! Therefore I shall not date until I meet a guy not interested in the dating games and truly wants to get to know me as oppose to "win me" as a prize from a personal challenge.

Adventures with Allen: Altered Perspective

It's been a while since I wrote about Allen, but our bond is strengthened daily. I've grown to love him, all of him: the good, bad, and unexpected lol. He's a rare gem and I couldn't ask for a more genuine person to be around 5 days out of the week.

As you know, Allen has Prader-Will Syndrome, and while he is 17, most days his mentality is very child-like (that of an 8 year old) often watching PBS kids shows or one of his favorites, riding the train at the mall... and other days he is a typical teenage boy questioning everything and in Allen's case, being a "connoisseur" of life ! (He knows everything and he is always right, no matter what ! lol). I have two prime examples from this week alone:

 1. We go on walks daily, and the girls track team from his school were running along the same path as us Tuesday. He usually gives the boys track team a high-5 when they run past, so I didn't know how he would respond to the girls. To my surprise he was wayyy more comfortable with the girls, even picking out a cute Latino girl with long brunette hair and black running shorts lol. After giving the girls high-5 he says to me: "Candis, I like girls" I say: "you do? that's cool." He says "I want to date one !". It was the cutest thing to me, but he was so serious lol.

 2. Yesterday, we encountered the same girls, and when he saw "black shorts" his eyes lit up. After she ran by and gave him a high-5, he burst into laughter as his face turned red and he said "Candis that was my girlfriend" I swear it was THE cutest thing, you had to be there. Needless to say " black shorts" was a very short lived girlfriend, as we ran into 3 girls walking home from school with a runaway dog they were returning. He broke away from my grip (we often walk arm-in-arm) and walked with them, asking them about the dog (he loves animals, dog especially). Once we saw the exchange from stranger-to-owner, the girls continued home and Allen began to sing/scream the words to Jhene' Aiko's- The Worst (aka his favorite song lol) I don't mean to I don't mean to I don't mean to I don't mean to... but I looovveeeee you and even added his own little remix and I wanna take you on a dateeeeee and marry you !

It's so funny seeing him interact with kids his age, girls especially. When I met him his girlfriends were: Miley Cyrus (The Hannah Montana version lol), Seleena Gomez, Topanga (from boy meets world), and iCarly: And while they still are, they are slowly fading in the mist lol. It's so different seeing him take interest in girls within his vicinity. I can say, I never imagine doing this type of work, but one thing for sure is that there is never a dull moment with this guy, his spontaneity meter is through the roof ! lol

*** Hope you guys enjoyed as much as I did writing it, have a blessed rest of the day, I love all my Ryders... muchos besos !

Affirmations come in all forms... pay attention

Have you guys ever used that app thingy-majig on Facebook? Don't act like you don't still get on Facebook either, some of y'all creep through every now and then lol. Any who, this app is amazing and is always spot on when I need it, which is almost daily.

It's the perfect go-to when I'm feeling down, unsure, out of inspiration, or happy... pretty much every emotion. I use it as a means to recharge and often times it's affirmation. 

Yesterday, my mom randomly told me that God told her he has something big for me, and to hold on and be patient. On second thought, it wasn't random, it was in God's perfect timing because he knows me; and she said she knew it was from God because we hadn't been talking about anything related to it, and she immediately got chills. It couldn't have come at a better time, especially with the way I've been feeling lately.

I am extremely blessed, that I know. I am grateful to have a job, even though it's something I never envisioned for myself. If you aren't aware of what I do, refer here. Although I have grown to love Allen over these past few months, I can't help but feel like I'm wasting away... more so because this isn't how I expected my life to be post graduation. You plan and visualize what the next step of your life will be and when it doesn't pan out, it's devastating and one of life's many reality checks.

My blog has been doing amazing, that in itself is affirmation; Furthermore, this week alone has been record breaking in regards to viewership as you can see above; I'm so appreciative of all the support Ive received thus far; and while I love writing and all of the positive responses, the truth of the matter is, it's not bringing in any revenue. I don't want to stop blogging, but I do want to be compensated, or find a job that allows me to do what I love. It's just hard to stay optimistic after applying to over 30 applications a week. Applying for jobs is my part time job before I go to my actual part time job.

I guess my biggest obstacle at this post is figuring out how to get where I want to be. I'm finally doing what I love, but I need the entire fulfillment of it. And because I don't have the answers, I choose to believe and receive the prophesy from my mom; Throughout my confusing I will remember to remember God, like the message from God said, and stand secure knowing he won't lead me astray. Something big is in store for me, and I can't wait to see what it is.                                                                                        

Speak it into fruition

 

I know I can, be what I wanna be.

If I work hard at it, I'll be where I wanna be 

First I want to start by saying, if you know nothing of the genius that is Nasir Jones aka Nas, you are depriving yourself of true lyricism. No matter what, he's guaranteed to give you real colloquialisms, stories, and history lessons over a dope beat.

Fruition is the attainment of anything desired. So when you speak things into fruition, you give your desires life. You are what you think; you can be a pessimist or an optimist, the choice is yours.

It's so easy to see the negative in any situation and assume that it will always be; but to look for the light at the end of every tunnel is a challenge, and if you're like me... challenges are welcomed. 

So what you didn't get that job, you'll find a better one; Or you're going through a hardship, did it ever occur to you that God gives he greatest battles to his best soldiers, and that after every storm the sun will shine again? And maybe decisions from your past have made for a trying few years, keep going... if you're at your rock bottom the only direction to go is up, and when I say up I mean higher than your wildest dreams up !

I recently had two instances where I jokingly spoke things into existence, and realized it after the fact. 

* So around this time last year I was fed up with the entire male species and wanted a change, not a "switch teams" kind of change but something different. I kept saying I wanted to date outside my race, okay what I really said was... I wanted something "bad and foreign" lol. And low and behold I met an initially annoying Indian guy a few months later lol, but after getting to know each other and dating for months then deciding it wouldn't work, he has now become my best friend. 

 * Then, after quitting my carrier job at the post office in May of last year, and was completely broke after several failed attempts at regaining employment, I continuously joked to my Mom about getting a check in the mail. And in August I received a check from the post office, it wasn't much but it was something, and I couldn't believe I had actually talked myself up a check.

If you take nothing else from this post or my entire blog, I hope that you walk away with hope and optimism in your heart. Everything is attainable if you believe. No matter what obstacles you face, because they will come in abundance, always remember why you are doing it; remember the prize at the end, and the passion driving you to do so. You are only as great as you allow yourself to be, so stop holding back and show me whatcha' got !

If you fear nothing, you love nothing

I know you're thinking "what is she talking about?" or "she's always talking about fighting your fears" Yes I still stand firm on embracing and fighting fears... but follow me. So what is that one thing you love and have an undeniable passion for? Okay... be honest, do you fear going after that passion? If your answer is no, you  don't love it enough; But if your answer was yes, CONGRATULATIONS you've reached the first step of pursuing your dream.

Once you realize your dream and go through the motions of evaluating the future steps you'll have to take to attain that dream, reality hits. For me, I was immediately afraid, intimidated and overwhelmed at the mere thought of actually going full throttle at a writing career. It's one thing to say it, but to actually make those words come to life is another. If fear and adrenaline run through your body when you think of something you love, that's exactly what you need to be doing.

Just envision your future self doing exactly what you've always dreamed of doing. How great is that life? Well it's possible, but only if you put in the ground work now. Keep going no matter how hard or tiring it may be, hard work will eventually pay off, and the recognition and blessing will follow. Don't think about how long it will take, the time will pass anyway. All you need to worry about is focusing on the prize at the end, which is living your dream; How many people can say they are doing something they love? Not many, you can be the exception.

When you share your gift with the world, God rewards you in so many ways. His gift to you is your talent, your gift to him is actually using it. Don't let your gift go to waste, we all have something amazing to offer this world, it's time you started contributing. Now what are you waiting for? If you can dream you can achieve, go make it happen... one day at a time !

5 reasons...

My childhood was AWESOME

5.

How many of you remember those Disney Original Movies ? they had a premier date and time every Friday. I listed some of my favorite above, but Johnny Tsunami is still hands down my favorite; Not only did it capture every emotion, but it also co-starred Lee Thompson Young aka The Famous Jett Jackson ! (Rip). And might I add they were the originators of "Bra" lol.

4. 

Crash Bandicoot single-handedly changed the game ! I remember when it came out, I didn't have a PlayStation but wanted it nonetheless. Luckily my spoiled best friend had it, and I can remember us going straight to his house after school to get our daily fix.

3. 

Giga Pets are major throwback but was everything to us. This was our first glance at the future, as we all malnourished and killed our virtual pets lol.

2.

 I just want to start by saying that Google had no idea what a "Candy Lady" was lol. I had to search candy fundraisers instead lol. Maybe this was only a hood exclusive, but our Candy-Lady was the ish, she had everything: Candy, Pickles, Chips, Drinks... everything a kid desired. She may have retired off of my crew alone lol.

1. 

If you don't know who Captain Planet is kill yourself now ! lol not really, but consider yourself cheated of greatness. We're the Planeteers you can be one too cause' saving our planet is the thing to do, looting and polluting is not the way, hear what Captain Planet has to say ! The Power is Yours !  That theme song is forever embedded in my memory lol. This is before recycling and global warming... this cartoon was so forward-thinking and revolutionary. It's definitely a classic.

***Bonus: This past weekend, my cousin (who is 11) Told me I was old because I was born in the 1900s. Definitely goes in the books as one of the funniest things I've ever heard ! lol

Setbacks are Setups for what's to come

It's so easy to become discouraged and depressed and give up, but what good will that do? Nothing. We've all fallen victim to this circumstance on more than one occasion. Why? Because as humans, when we go after something we want, we expect to acquire it; But not being able to is the biggest rejection, and no one is a fan of that.

Setbacks can come in all forms: school, jobs, relationships. Maybe your new years resolution to enroll/return to school this semester fell through. And a job you knew was yours didn't quite happen. Or the person you'd envisioned a future with let you down. Don't let that deter you. What's meant to be will be, no matter what.

I experienced a job related setback last week. It was a film editing job, one I felt confident I had in the bag due to editing experience in college. I go to the interview and every answer I give she's telling me "great answer" and giving me approving nods. I leave with a slight adrenaline rush in anticipation of receiving that callback the following day, with her offering me the job. Unfortunately I didn't get the job, and was devastated. It took me a few days to rid myself of negative thoughts and redirect my energy, then I decided to change my perspective on the ordeal. No, I didn't get the job I felt was perfect for me, but soon I will. I know my worth and capabilities, and that job lost out on me for not recognizing what I could have brought to their company. So now it's back to the drawing board as my search continues, but I am not discouraged. My ideal job that best suites me is on it's way, that I am sure of.

As I said in a recent post, Listen to your failures. It can be one of the hardest things to do when all you want to do is sulk and be upset, but it's definitely an awakening. There is always something to be learned from every failure and mistake. It is only stifling to your growth if you continue to do the same things in hopes of a different outcome. But when you realize that something didn't happen because it wasn't meant to be, and believe that something better will come along, you will receive your blessing in God's perfect timing. Don't give up my loves, the best is yet to come !

 

 ***P.S. Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE !

You will never find Y O U , runnning from yourself

" Honestly... I wanna see you be   B R A V E   ! "

Do you realize how powerful your existence is? There is no one on this earth exactly like you, even if you are a twin. You are what makes you unique.

Embracing yourself can be a scary journey, but is an inevitable task that we all have to endure. There is nothing pretty about facing your fears, accepting your flaws, and loving yourself. You have never experienced true love until you have mastered the art of loving yourself wholeheartedly. This is something that has to genuinely come from within, not from parents, a friend or a significant other. You hold the key to your happiness, and you control how you love and how you want to be loved.

I'd say the bravest thing I did in 2013, aside from finally creating and maintaining my blog, was taking a look in the mirror. You know that familiar wording on side mirrors? Well those words are so metaphoric and speak volumes.

There is no reality check like the one you give yourself. Who knows you better than God and your parents? YOU ! You can't run from yourself if you wish to grow. We all have faults and things that could be improved. Avoid delaying the tedious process of getting to know yourself better... trust me you won't regret it.

Once you know who you are and have embraced what you represent, you've created a lethal weapon. There is nothing anyone can say or do to deter you when you are one with yourself. That amount of power should be illegal lol. Take the chance to eliminate all distractions, leeches, naysayers, and anything stopping you from being great. Just try it, sit in silence and have a real one-on-one with yourself, even if it's only for ten minutes... trust me you won't be disappointed.

Let it Be (A peek into my psyche)

Just two nights ago I found myself sad and consumed with negative thoughts in regards to my personal life. No matter the circumstance, my relationships and friendships always seem to be short lived. I used to think it was me, but as I thought about it more, I realized the people that matter (mainly family) remained.

For years I have envisioned my future... thriving career woman, but single. I have never seen myself with a husband, as odd as that may seem. That is not to say I don't want one, I would love to have a teammate to grow with throughout life, but for some reason or another, it just doesn't seem attainable... or at least not in my head.

I wouldn't be honest with you all if I wasn't honest with myself. My blog is devoted to positivity, inspiration and motivational ideas, but I wouldn't be human if I didn't address my fears every so often. Facing yourself, flaws and all, fears on the table, with no distraction is the purest honesty in life.

Sunday it suddenly hit me... that the man I've been dating for 7 months is slowly drifting away from me, and will move out of the country in only a few short months and go on with life. I was immediately mournful just thinking of how he'll date other women and eventually get married and have kids. I don't know why I can see marriage, or even relationships for everyone but myself.

I've always heard "you'll find love when you least expect it", and "when you go looking you'll find what you don't need." But where exactly is this love supposed to come from? I've become so discouraged with dating, and even more so finding a soul mate. Then I've heard "Do what you love and you'll meet someone with similar interests" but hello ! I'm doing that ! I'm writing every damn day where is he?! lol

I don't desire to date a hundred men to tell me what I don't want, I already know what I do. I know exactly what I want... I want it ALL. I want an amazing career, husband and family. But I often question if it's attainable, and if so... for how long? It always seems like people in my life have short expiration dates, which I have to admit has made me quite standoffish and resistant to meet new people.

With that being said, when I get in moods like this where I am on the brink of depression, I have to step back and let it be. And as fate would have it, I stumbled upon this tweet today.

Be happy.. Let go of what's gone, be grateful for what remains & look forward to whats coming
— Rev Run (@RevRunWisdom) January 5, 2014

I can't change the past, I can't predict the future, but I can be happy in the present. Negativity will only consume and deter me. I choose to be happy. And whatever God has for me will be. I cannot concern myself with things I have no control over, I can only live for today.

*** If you made it this far this message is for you:

I love you for reading this, for supporting me and helping me better myself. You all have given me a platform to freely express my ideas, be vulnerable, and share my craft and for that I am truly grateful.We all are in this life together, though traveling different journeys... what unites us is greater than what separates us. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read what I have to say, it means more to me than you'll ever know.

Starting over is a privilege not a failure

If you are ever afforded the opportunity to start over, consider it a blessing. There are countless people that would love to have the chance at a fresh start, and fail to realize that the reset button isn't just for electronics. Most people associate starting over as a failure in regards to failed marriages, jobs, and lifestyles, when in actuality, it is a privilege.

Don't take for granted the opportunities and blessings God chooses to give you. Starting over can be beautiful if you allow it to. Starting over could be the difference between life and death. You could be the victim of domestic violence, following the wrong crowd, or just making bad decisions that will lead you on an endless path of destruction. A minor life alteration can change your for the better.

Just think of all the bad habits you have acquired over the years. Maybe you smoke excessively, drink outrageously, or if you're like me... consume too much junk food lol. Too much of anything is bad for you, which is why I had to make a conscience decision to cut back drastically on my sweets/chip intake. Healthy living is more beneficial in more ways than one.

If you didn't use the new year as an opportunity to start over, do it now. There is never a perfect time to do anything. Don't waste anymore time and get started on your clean slate. Forget everything that will deter you from making you better. Go for it, even if you are alone, and reap the benefits of your hard work.

Go ahead and press that reset button and build the life you wish to have. It's never too late to be great, unless you never try. Do it only for yourself, your happiness is essential in your future success. Now get out there and give em' hell, and start a new book with fresh unwritten chapters !

5 reasons...

I don't make New Years Resolutions

5. I never do it. I'm a realest and in order to be so, I cannot lie to myself. What's the point in making a list of things I'm not going to complete, only to feel crappy at the end of the year for not doing it? lol

4. Spontaneity. I live for spontaneous instances in life. I refuse to attempt to plan out everything because if there is one predominate thing that I learned in 2013, it's that God has the final say. Sure I can plan a few some things, but ultimately I am following the path he has for me.

3. Words are nothing. I know you're probably thinking "did she really just say that as a writer?" Yes. Words are nothing without execution, therefore I'd rather just do it as opposed to saying I will. Don't talk about it, be about it !

2. Fresh Start. The New Year allows for a clean slate and a fresh start. The root word in resolution is resolve, meaning a purpose or determination. As long as I make every effort to make 2014 better than 2013 while keeping God first, I can resolve anything.

1. Cliché. Everybody does it, and nobody... well at least nobody I know actually sticks to it lol. So in my efforts to always remain unique and unorthodox, I choose not to partake in such activities.

Eliminate the baggage

First I want to wish all of my Ryders a Happy New Year ! And I want to extend a warm welcome to all newcomers. This is a journey I intend to share with you all in hopes that my story will inspire you to realize your dream and go for it. With that being said, let's get to it!

It's a new year, which means there is a clean slate and a fresh start at life. You can start over, you can change things you don't like, and you can grow and become the person you want to be. But just because it's a new year doesn't mean that baggage won't try to pry it's way in. We all have baggage, it's an inevitable of life; however, it's up to you to decide if you want to allow the baggage to have power over you.

The best advice I can give is to face your fears, pain, and baggage head on. You cannot grow if you are running from the things binding you. Can't run from the pain, go towards it. This is something you have to do for yourself, no matter how hard it may be.

Baggage will weigh you down and consume you. It will make you depressed and kill your spirit. It can break you and tear you apart, and strip you of your confidence and pride. Make today the day that you rid yourself of the burdens of the past, and choose to learn from those experiences and become wiser and stronger.

Don't let baggage stop you from being with your soul mate, getting a better job, going after your dreams, or receiving any blessings. Open your heart and free yourself of everything that has caused you pain. Let it go and move on, God will not give you  more than you can handle. This is the beginning of a new year and a new start, choose to make 2014 better than last year. Go ahead... I can't wait to see your progress !

* Below is a video of one of my favorite metaphoric songs by Erykah Badu.While it's called Bag Lady, no one is exempt from baggage, so men can relate as well. I hope you guys enjoy !

"I guess nobody ever told you, all you must hold on to...

is you is you is youuuuuuuu!"