If Actions Speak Louder Than Words, Why Do We Still Need To Hear Them?

This is a question I've been asking myself, after having a talk with my best friend the other day. It made me think about upbringing, and how differently people are raised to express love, emotion and feelings. If it is not somewhat equivalent to the way you express, is it still adequate? or is it then obsolete because you don't connect with their way of showing love and appreciation?

I had that problem with the last guy I dated. He would show he cared in little ways, yet I still needed to hear it, which was like pulling teeth for him. Being of a different ethnicity, he was taught to show rather than tell how much you care for someone, while I was raised to both show and tell. It made things difficult, especially when I wanted to define the relationship. He'd say he just wanted to be friends, but would act in a way that confused me.

If someone doesn't say it, they don't care right? Wrong. Pay attention to non-verbal cues, most of our communication is based in part by gestures that don't include speech anyway. Everything you need to know is right in front of you, you can get answers without directly asking them. Want to know if he/she cares? Ask him/her to do or go somewhere he/she hates for you, or create a scenario that would show you how he/she feels. The response will allow you to fill in the question marks.

I even challenge you to show how you feel without uttering a word, and see if it translates. It doesn't have to be a boyfriend/girlfriend, it could be a friend or family member. Just test it out, and see how powerful non-verbal communication is. Just because someone doesn't say it, doesn't mean they don't feel it. Everyone expresses in their own way, be open to all aspects, you might even grow to like it.