Be your own cheerleader

One thing you will learn in life, probably sooner than later, is that no one will take care of you like you will. Often times you may find yourself disappointed in people because they don't come through for you; that disappoint is there because you would do it for them. Don't expect anything from anyone, if they add to your life appreciate it, but never set expectations.

Expectations lead to disappointments, but if you rely on yourself you will never be disappointed. You know what you need and want to fulfill your life, don't depend on anyone else to see your vision if they are focused on their own.

I'm not saying don't accept help or constructive criticism, everyone needs assistance and guidance; but you have to be selective, your future depends on it. Stay focused and alert and your decisions will follow suite.  

Learn to be your own cheerleader, who wholeheartedly believes in you more than yourself, other than God? And who will sacrifice everything to see you succeed, other than God? If your response is 'me' that's correct. But if your response was a parent, friend, or significant other you've got some growing to do. Sure those people may help along the way, but ultimately your success depends on you.

In those times of doubt, despair and uncertainty have a talk with yourself. Whenever you're having a bad day stop what you're doing and sit in silence. Clear your mind by coaching yourself into positivity. The challenge in each day is to find the positive in every negative. Don't let anything stop you from reaching your dreams !

Turn Passion into Profit

Find something you love and sell the hell out of it. There's no greater feeling than doing something you love and believe in; getting paid to do it is the cherry on top. The ultimate fulfillment is giving one hundred percent of love to something and receiving that love in return by peers, fans and family members. Just take a second and think about it... you want that don't you? You've longed to share your gift with the world, now is as a good a time as any to get started.

Never dim your light because others aren't shinning as brightly as you. Don't short yourself a great life by being safe. Life is about taking risks and sacrifice, if you're willing to do that you're on your way. Don't apologize for your success, your talent and your blessings. They are meant to be showcased and appreciated, don't let it all go to waste because of others. Display who you are, there are people that will find inspiration through your story.

Always think of your next move, never think on a small spectrum. If God does everything at amplified magnitudes, what do you think he expects from you? Nothing short of grand. Yeah... the pressure is on lol God's watching, and his opinion is ultimately the only one that truly matters. If you do things with that mindset everything you touch will turn into gold, not literally lol, but it will definitely prosper if it's something you really will go the extra mile for.

A wise man once said: "Don't put off tomorrow, what can be done today." There couldn't be more factual words. Make use of each day, hour and minute. Don't let 24 hours go by without making progress and taking steps towards your goals. Each day is a learning process and experience to help you along the way, pay attention. Don't take anything for granted, and don't let pride set you back, if you need help ask, that's what Mentor's are for. There's a profit stemmed from passion waiting to manifest, get the ball rolling !

You are only as great as your weights

I know you're probably thinking: "what is she talking about now?," but as always, there's a method to my madness. What are weights you ask? Weights represent everything that is holding you down and deterring you from reaching your full potential. Weights come in all forms: friends, family, frenemies, co-workers, supervisors, teachers etc. Everyone doesn't want to see your success, and if you give them an opening, they will make you believe that you aren't worthy of the dreams you desire.

If you want to fly you've gotta eliminate the weights. All of the unnecessary baggage must go when it comes to getting ahead in life. One of the most difficult tasks to do, and hardest to get accustomed to is sacrifice. With success comes sacrifice, and more often than not, more than you bargained for.

Find your wings and let them spread freely. Open your mind up to the endless possibilities this world has to offer. The future is now; everything you do now is setting you up for your future. Don't wait another day, hour or minute to start doing what you love, the time is now.

Cut those weights and see how much further you can soar. Let go of all the fear, doubt and negativity and go for what you want. Give it all you have and watch how people appreciate and gravitate towards it. You are talented, you are worthy of showcasing it; now is the time to stop hiding and show the world what you've got. Eliminate the dead weight and gain access amongst the greats.

Don't Compare, CONSTRUCT

 

We've all fallen victim of envying someone else. It's okay, we're human. For some reason it's far more easier to see what we don't have through the eyes of others that have everything we want. And the inevitable "you always want what you can't have" doesn't help either. Don't succumb to the negativity, take the optimistic approach.

There will always be someone better looking, taller, smaller, thinner, smarter, and funnier. It's pointless to compare yourself to the world when you were created to be the individual you are. Everything you are: your smile, your mindset, your style and talent are not in vain. If God wanted the world to be boring, he would have made us all alike, that's the beauty of it all. Everyone has an identity, but it's up to you whether or not you want to stand out or blend in the crowd.

Don't get discouraged because you aren't where you know you're supposed to be. Your time will come, everything will fall into place, and that depression you are edging to creep in will be a distant memory. Everyone has a season, everyone has their 'just-do'. The stars will align only when you're up next, you're in line wait your turn. And when it is, don't second guess it, walk confidently in the direction of your destiny and never look back.

Instead of spending time comparing your life to others, and dwelling on the things you don't have, wishing you did, make it happen. Don't compare, construct. Create the life you want, and feel you deserve. Nothing will be handed to you, if you're looking for someone to save the day, look in the mirror. You are the key to your success or demise... only you. What are you waiting for? Get busy working on the new you now, so that the future you will thank you later.

*** Below is a note I wrote to myself, it's great to look at when you feel like giving up
 Patience is rewarded, but timing is everything. 
Don't get discouraged, your season is approaching.

Learn the power of forgiveness

It may not seem like a good idea at the time, but in the end you will be thankful you did. I'm not saying forgive as soon as something happens, fresh wounds must heal. Take the time to digest what happened, get over initial shock, and accept that it really did happen. Once you have taken those necessary steps, the door of forgiveness won't seem as distant or nonexistent as it did before.

People often think that forgiveness is "letting someone off the hook" and essentially telling them that what they did is okay. That is the furthest thing from the truth. When you forgive it is solely for you. Harboring pain, hurt, and anger can be detrimental to your well being; it can affect your weight, blood pressure, hair, and other bodily organs.

In life there is a choice for everything, you make choices daily; But it's up to you to pick the right choice that will be beneficial to your life. Choosing to forgive means choosing to take care of yourself. Choosing to be the victim will only dwindle your growth. Each year you gain more knowledge and understanding of your purpose on Earth, don't let one incident set you back and stifle your progress.

Forgiveness is letting it go. When you forgive you release all the negative that a situation brought you. Forgiveness is redirecting the energy by finding the good in the bad. There is positive in every negative. Yes something bad happened, but what good came from it? What did you learn about that person that did this to you? And more importantly, what did you learn about yourself? One thing is for sure, when you are going through something, if you've never had an opinion your entire life, you'll form one then. Speak up, have a voice, and stand up for yourself... no one else will. So keep your head up and be brave, you are not the victim, you are the survivor, the successor, and the source of your happiness.

This life is not promised, Don't take it for granted.

I know it's 5 reasons Friday but I couldn't bring myself to write a fun, quirky and entertaining post with everything that's going on. Instances in life make you wake up and realize that this is only a temporary stay. We buy all of these material things, but when you're gone, it has no value, no purpose, and no substance.

Today I was made aware that yet another person I've known my entire life, passed away. Death is funny, it's inconvenient, it's spontaneous, and most importantly life changing. You never know when it will happen, where or why. Death doesn't have an age or a sense of timing. But you have to face it and deal with it whether you want to or not.

With each death my perspective is altered. I grow and learn to appreciate everyone in my life as well as my own, more and more. Expected deaths are one thing, you kind of have time to prepare but, it's the unexpected ones that knock you off your feet. Don't waste time being angry or holding grudges over petty arguments, it's not worth it.

 

You have to do everything you desire in this life, and live it to the fullest. Don't live in regret, fear, or doubt life's too short for that. If you have a dream go for it with full force, don't let anything or anyone get in your way. I recently wrote that life is long and in a short period of time it can be. You can live a hard life constantly going through trials that feels longer than humanly possible in only a short span of time.

If death teaches you nothing else, it teaches you appreciation. It teaches you to place value on things that really matter like family and legacy. This life is not promised, don't take it for granted. And as Kanye' once said: "If you admire somebody you should go ahead and tell em' people never get the flowers while they can still smell em'." Make the best of each moment and loved one in our life, make sure they know you love and appreciate them, you never know when it's their time to transition.

*** R.I.P Cell aka the most Fashionable man I've ever met in my life. There's about to be some fly Angels in Heaven...spread your wings, you're apart of the Kingdom now, but you will be missed !

Let your work speak for itself

Don't be one of those people that talk more than they execute. Put in the work and let it say everything you want it to. Your work is essentially a representation of you, and what's understood doesn't need to be explained. Everyone won't wish you well. Everyone won't get it. People will want to see you fail, but it's okay.

There are a million reasons why you shouldn't do something, but all you really need is one reason why you should, to jump start your journey. In life you will experience more 'no's' than 'yes'', and there are only two outcomes, but the choice is solely yours. You either 1. Become Resilient 2. Give up.

 

 It's okay to get discouraged at times, but never give up. Discouragement builds character, makes you more strategic, and welcomes you into the real world. When you give up, you block your blessings by creating a wall. That wall can stifle you for years or forever is you allow it to; the power of your destiny is in your hands, either you want it or you don't.On the other side of that wall is everything you want and have been missing out on, expand your horizon, step out on faith, believe you are worthy.

Hard work beats talent if talent doesn't work hard. Your talent is a gift, your dream can be real. It's yours for the taking, but you have to really want it, work hard, and keep going even when you want to give up. You never know how close you are to attaining your dreams, but only the strong will survive... so armor up and get going !

Don't let your talent waste away

Results only come later, and later never comes... stay on ya hustle now- Russell Simmons

The biggest discouragement in life time. Time can be annoyingly slow, or brutally fast; it's all in the eyes of perspective. At times you may feel as though you aren't living life, while others may feel as though they are missing out on life by living too fast. There's a give and take in all things, you have to figure out how to balance all things that are of importance to you.

Talent can be equally discouraging as time. Yes you have a talent, but so does everyone else. In life there will always be someone that can do something better than you, but on the contrary someone that can't. Don't base your worth or value by someone else's. It's so easy to be critical of ones self, comparing your skills, life and aspirations to others, but do the opposite. Encourage yourself to be the best you,you can possibly be. Yeah... you all have similar talent's, but what makes you different? how can you stand out from the rest?

Don't deprive yourself of joy you were destined to have since birth. That joy comes from doing something you love. It's up to you to decide will I 1. Float about life or 2. Do what I love and make an impact? The choice is yours. You may have had over a million affirmations from others, but no one can make you see, and more importantly believe, that your talent is amazing.

Don't let your talent waste away. I believe there are only two types of people in this world: 1. The Safe and 2. The Brave. Which one are you? Are you here to watch a difference be made? or are you going to be apart of it? Your talent is beyond you, there will always be a new generation of children seeking role models, why not let that role model be you? You have a success story to create, a brand to make, and a talent to showcase. Stop hindering yourself and chase after what makes you happy, you deserve it and it's already yours !

Give everything 110%

I can't stand to hear people say "When I love, I love hard", in my head I'm thinkin' umm... that's the whole point, right?. Like Wale said: If you ain't lovin' hard you ain't lovin' at all. What good is love if it's gonna be mediocre or halfway?

Love is everything and everywhere. It comes in so many forms: Relationships (Family, Friends, Significant Others, Business), Careers, Hobbies, Nature, Passions, Adventures. Love can surround you at all times if you allow it to. Don't think of love as one minute spectrum, think of love as a state of being. You have the power to love. You can determine how you love yourself, thereby emitting that same love in the universe so others will know how to love you. Everything has purpose. Everything has love.

Whatever you love, give 110%. Anything given the proper attention will flourish overtime. If there is a career you really want, devote the time and energy into perfecting your craft. If there is someone you could see yourself in a relationship with, put in the work and really get to know that person; And more importantly, when you get that person stay in-sync, no matter how busy life gets make the time to connect. It is not until people/things stop receiving the adequate amount of attention that they stray/dwindle. Anything worth having is worth the storm.

Everything you desire in this life can be acquired, but only if you believe you deserve it. Ask. Believe. Receive. Leave it in God's hands and watch the blessings come in abundance. You are God's offspring, you are destined for greatness !

5 reasons...

Mid-Twenties Change you for the Better !

5. Game Elimination. You no longer entertain those ex beaus that randomly pop back up to see "how you're doing". You know that the past has no place in the future. You are more focused, more driven and more brilliant than ever before. You don't have time for the games from old or new prospects; you want something solid, and if they can't get with it, elimination is a breeze. It's not being cold or heartless, it's knowing your worth and standing for what you believe you deserve.

4. More Responsibility. I've mentioned bills, but much is expected of you now that you're at a "respectable age"; you will no longer be excused for being young and dumb, you've lived a little, your actions have consequences now more than ever. You start to want more stable things against temporary. Want that house? Want that promotion? Want that new car? To whom much is given much is expected.

3. Bigger Goals. Long gone are those meek and brief goals that you say just to shut someone up or get them off of your back; you want more for yourself, and you strive to attain it. Welcome vision-boards amongst other things to get your blood flowing. Bigger visions equal bigger opportunities.

2. Altered Perspective. There's no bigger awakening to adulthood than bills, more bills, and more bills on top of that lol. Going out is still fun to you, but it becomes less frequent because of priorities. Your focus changes from what to wear on Friday nights to, how to stretch Friday's pay check between paying bills and having money in your pocket until the next one comes back around.

1. Family. Maybe it's the reality that 30 is fast approaching, but mid-twenties make you appreciate family more than you ever did before. It could be hardships that brought you closer to your family, or simple gestures or conversations, but the older you get, the more you realize what REALLY matters; And on top of that you find yourself ready to settle down, get married and start your own little family.

*** Let's talk !
Out of all 5 reasons listed, which one would you say relates to you more, and why?

Shattered Glass

Words fail me
Actions follow in pursuit
The end is fast approaching
inevitable... me and you

Triggers jammed, Tempers flared
All too familiar sound
Paths don't aways adjoin
you are immensely bound

Struggles and Battles
No one ever wins
Harsh verbiage alter perspective
can't break what bends

Circles, Patterns
All that extra shit
We both know our destiny
together just won't fit

Please don't mourn
Lose sleep or be late
God's will shall be done
Through him I am great

Affirmations are sent directly from God

Have you ever had someone tell you, you were going to be something, were good at something, or had a certain gift? Believe it, even if you don't see it because you never know what God has placed on someones heart to pass on to you.

At the age of 5 I fell in love with books, I was and still am an avid reader, and I was a regular at the local library (still is so lol). I found that books were great for many things: entertainment, vicarious living, and explaining life's hardest challenges.

I can remember reading this book, and I'll never forget it called Beanpole. I believe I was about 10, and was amongst the tallest in my class. At 10 no one wants to stand out or be picked on so I was very self conscious and insecure about my height. But that book changed my entire perspective, although it didn't happen overnight, I embraced my height and saw that I was made as God intended.

Throughout school I had several teachers tell me I was a great writer, my affirmation often coming in the form of As on countless papers. One of which would have received a hundred had I not turned it in a day late. That very paper was my affirmation in 7th grade; Mr. Kush , my then history teacher wrote me a healthy paragraph telling me how great of a writer I was. But I still wasn't sure if that was what I was supposed to be doing. I received the same message throughout college, but was still hesitant and unsure; Now that I look back, I guess I was unsure if I wanted to be great or not.

Fast-forward to present day, this blog is my biggest affirmation yet. I was fearful that no one would read it. I didn't think anyone would care. I didn't think anyone would be affected. All of my fears proved to be wrong. And because of you all I write when I don't feel like it, or don't care to share because I know it will help someone. This blog is therapeutic for me, all of you Ryders help me more than you know, the comments or even just a page view matters to me.

You know that saying: "God works in mysterious ways?" Believe it ! He's not gonna always come directly to you because you may not receive it, but he will place people in your life and use them as a vessel. If there is something you love doing, comes natural to you, and people see that and tell you you're going to be great... Believe it because it's coming from God. Stop second guessing yourself, you are God's creation and he doesn't make anything but the best; it's time you start living up to your potential.

You Never Know What God Is Preparing You For

There's nothing more unpredictable than life. You can be going about life, planning things all happy go lucky then BOOM ! an unexpected instance can change everything. My family and I are unfortunately all too familiar with it.

This past weekend we found ourselves in the same situation we were in only 7 short months ago. A family member through marriage, but family nonetheless, was dying of cancer. Coincidentally, she had the exact same cancer as my grandfather, in every location of the body, the same hospital and floor, and stage 4 (the final level of cancer). It was deja vu all over again.

I found myself confused as to what to do. What do you tell someone you love when someone you both love is dying? The best way I can describe it is being bound in a chair with a straight jacket on. There's nothing I can do but be there. Can't take the pain away, can't make it better... just have to pray and trust God.

OG Bev (my nickname for her) you will truly be missed. They say everyone has a twin, but no one can equate to your spirit and essence. I've never met anyone more fashionable,spunky, feisty, but loving and caring all in the same. I hate to see you go, but I'd much rather you didn't suffer. Congratulations ! you've made it to see the King... can't wait to see that smile again !

What I've come to know is that although death is the biggest inconvenience in life, death is inevitably apart of life. It's something you can never really get used to, prepare for, or become immune to. But despite that reality, God always makes everything right, in his perfect timing. You never know what God is preparing you for... every obstacle, setback, and detrimental experience is testing you, and making you stronger. Nothing is in vain. Yes it hurts. Yes it's hard. But every day you are given in this life doesn't go without purpose.

For anyone going through a similar situation or obstacle, keep your head up. The storm won't last forever, and the darkness will eventually turn into light. I pray that everyone going through something finds peace and acceptance in whatever it is. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger if you allow it to. It will all get better in time. I love you all.

R.I.P OG BEV !

5 reasons...

I want to go Speed Dating !

5. Something Different. It's 2014, long gone are the days of running into people at the supermarket, library, and bars. It still happens, but social media has taken over. There are more people meeting from Twitter & Instagram than dating sights. So how bad can it be? I've done it once in college at a Pre-Valentine's Day event and found it hilarious how nervous the guys were. Luckily, one of my roommates sat next to me and we laughed all night. I'd prefer not to have an experience like that again lol, carrying a conversation can be draining... it needs to flow & mesh well. 2nd times a charm? Possibly.

4. No blame game. Have you ever been out on a really crappy date and realized that there's no chance in hell you'll see this person again? Lol I have...several times ! And a few times (on 2 lol) I felt like the "bad guy", but with speed dating it's okay and isn't held against you if you don't feel a connection.

3. No sugar-coating or prolonging. It's straight to the point, sure a few minutes isn't enough time to know if you've met a great catch (unless of course there's love at first sight lol); but it can certainly tell you if you want to converse & be around someone again.

2. New People. This is a great way to meet new people; the optimist in me thinks that if there is no attraction (because we all know that's important) but similar interests, a great friendship can be formed.

1. Could find love. Who knows? I've heard of people finding their soul mates in the oddest places. I definitely wouldn't count out speed dating. Just think, you can go on 10+ dates within an hour, pretty cool... well unless they all suck ! Lol

Choose to be HAPPY !

 

Everyone says: "life is too short" but the reality is, life is long. Life will intimidate and manipulate you if you allow it; but on the other hand, life can be beautiful and bountiful. It's all in what the windows to the soul chooses to see.

Perspective is EVERYTHING ! Your thoughts and words are more powerful than you think. Speaking things into fruition is proof of that. By merely placing "Happy" "Merry" or "Good" (Birthday, Christmas, Morning) in front of a word is speaking it into existence. . Be careful what you wish for cause' you just might get it.

People often think that material things equate to happiness, but that's the farthest from the truth. You can purchase everything you want in this life and still be unhappy. Happiness is a choice within ones self. You have to want it, seek it, and attain it. No one can give you happiness but you.

Take it from someone that's been on both sides of the fence... the happy side is much greater. Happiness is openness, and when you open your heart you'll find real love, uncontrollable laughter, and longevity. It's true, happy people live longer ! Now go ahead and get started on your happy, you deserve it !

*** P.S. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY ! OFFICIALLY A QUARTER CENTURY ! FEELS GOOD... YEAH ! LOVE YOU RYDERS ENJOY YOUR DAY, I KNOW I WILL ! :)

Never apologize for your success

People want to see you succeed until you surpass their expectations. When you become greater than they thought you could, envy arises. Even so, never dim down your accomplishments and achievements to make someone else feel better about themselves. You worked hard to get where you are, don't apologize for your reward... it's yours, revel in it.

I'm not saying go out into the world bragging and boasting about what you've seen, have or experienced. God doesn't bless us to be arrogant, he blesses us to be inspiration and to be blessings to others. It's about showing how following your dreams can be beneficial in every aspect, and appreciating how far you've come.

 

It's about all of the countless 'no's' you had to go through to receive that one 'yes'. It's about sacrifice, hard work, and  drive to keep going even when you feel like there's nothing left to cover. Everything you did or are doing is to enrich your life, it doesn't go unnoticed.

Be courageous. Be appreciative. Be confident. If you give your all to something you deserve it in return, and that's what your accomplishments are. Your success is your reward for all that you did, don't stop going until you are proud. Smile and enjoy the fruits of your labor; display your trophies, certificates, degrees, promotions, etc. you never know how your success can inspire someone else.

Its okay to glance in the rear view as long as u keep moving forward

The past is inevitable, everyone has one; but that doesn't mean you have to act as if it never happened. The past is there to be a humbling tool by showing you how far you have come. No matter what obstacles you've faced, detrimental times you've overcome, two things are for sure.... you've grown and gotten better, that's the beauty about life. 

God always gives us sugar to go with our vinegar- from Being Mary Jane

 Do you realize how valid that quote is? At the end of every storm is a rainbow, and underneath soil is a seed waiting to blossom into a flower. Seek the positive in every experience, even if it's hard to find. Your life will be enriched with peace and joy, but only if your mindset is equivalent.

Looking back on the past can be therapeutic, inspirational and motivating. Where were you five years ago? How have things changed? Look how far you've come. The only constant in life is change, and each year something about you changed be it age, thought process,weight,height,etc; The mere fact that you are still breathing shows growth.

But don't dwell too long. Keep moving. Keep striving. Keep growing. Find your niche and mark your imprint in this world. Be confident and stand behind what you have to offer. The past does not define you nor does it restrict you; your chances are greater today because you are still here, make the most of it.

Life without purpose isn't life at all

 We were all born to do something great, as God's offspring. Everything we do in this life is a reflection of God, it's up to us to make sure it is one he would be proud of.

It is impossible to live a healthy and happy life without purpose. Purpose is the morning coffee of life. If you have nothing to work towards and look forward to, what are you doing? Nothing.

Purpose gets you out of bed and helps you start your day; Keeps you uplifted in times of triumph, and that extra push at the finish line. Purpose is fulfillment in the completion of a task, and the drive to pursue a new one. Purpose never gives up, and always has an optimistic idealism on life.

One of my college professors once said: "If you aren't useful you're useless". Those words resonate and connect so much more now than they did when I initially heard them. What good is a brain if it isn't used? What good is a dream is it isn't attained? Your purpose can be found anywhere: through a tragedy, an unexpected acquaintance, or one instance in life.

Purpose is the heartbeat in your chest, the blood flowing through your body, and the nutrition you need to survive. When you're having a hard day or quite possibly the worst day of your life remember that your existence isn't in vain, and everything you're experiencing is with a purpose.

Open yourself and your mind to the endless possibilities your life can afford you. It's up to you to make the most of every experience by being useful. When you find your purpose everything will fall into place, and will make perfect sense. Try different things, explore, free yourself of restrictions... Everybody dies but not everybody lives.