You've Gotta Have That 'If Not Me Then Who?' Attitude

Life is all about competition: who looks better, who dresses better, who's thinner, who's smarter... the list can continue forever; More than likely you've experienced one of these things, if not all, by the time you're 18... but what no one ever tells you is to be in competition with yourself.

Years will pass and those friends you once had in high school, the ones you thought would be there forever, will be a distance memory; Those people you disliked or envied in high school won't matter, and the best dressed will probably be a J (for the non-Atliens a 'J' is a bum or homeless person) lol. Moral of the story, the only constant in life is change, and the only thing you can be sure of is yourself.

In everything you do, you've gotta have that If not me then who? mentality. You should always perform or attempt to perform at you highest quality. When you're grown, you are no longer representing your parents... everything you do is a reflection of yourself. If you half-ass at work, school, and relationships it will show and people won't expect anything less from you. But if you go above and beyond for everything that has your name attached to it, you will gain respect and accreditation.

Being in competition with yourself has no negative side effects, it's actually the healthiest form of competition. It's a focus and drive to be great, and every year you can push yourself to be better than you were the year before. It's all about setting goals, pursuing them, and following through. No one has the exact same talent and ambition as you, set your mind to start thinking: If not me then who?

5 reasons...

You Should Cherish Your Mother

5. There's knowledge to gain. With every Mom there is a story to be told. She may not have done everything right, well no one does, but I can guarantee you she learned from every mistake. Listen and absorb all of the priceless advice and lessons she has to offer you; those are rare gems that will forever be embedded in your memory when she's gone.

4. She is a reflection of you. Whether your Mother was there for you or not, the woman/man you are or are becoming is because of her. You may be completely alike or polar opposites but your origins lie within her. And strangely the things that get on your nerves about her is directly related to you and something about yourself that you've yet to tap into.

3. She carried you. For 9 long months your Mom carried you in her womb, felt your kicks and listened to your heartbeat. Your mere existence is because of her... be grateful. There's no way I can you back, but my plan is to show you that I understand... you are appreciated.

2. Not everyone has that privilege. There are people that would love to have a Mom...some have died, some don't have a relationship with theirs, and some don't know what they have. If you are lucky enough to have a Mom, don't take it for granted.

1. You only get 1. You may have "motherly" figures in your life, but the fact still remains you only one biological mother. No matter the circumstance, love her and show her that you appreciate her. Mother's are the most powerful being on this Earth after God, who else can create a human being?

*** HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY ! Wishing all of the Mother's/Ryder's a beautiful weekend. You don't have to shell out a lot of money on gifts or an expensive dinner to show your Mom how much you care, just being there and spending time is enough. Take it old school and make something like a card, poem or painting, it's the thought that counts. And in the words of Kanye': " If you admire somebody you should go ahead and tell em' people never get the flowers while they can still smell em' "

Here's two of my favorite Mother's Day songs, 

couldn't choose just one because they're both so epic ! lol any who enjoy !

Everyone Wants The Limited Edition, Might As Well Be You

Let's face it, our generation is all about temporary forevers; everything has to be rushed and instant. With everything easily attainable, people are in search of reasons to indulge in all things unorthodox, why not let it be you?

In school the "weird kids" are picked on because people don't get it; but in the real world weird is IN. From the likes of Andy Warhol, Andre 3000 & Aristotle... They all have made being different appealing in their own way. Coincidentally weird is what I look for in a friend or significant other, regular is so boring. There's something so attractive about someone that moves to the beat of their own bass-drum.

Being a limited edition comes with a lot of responsibility; not every is a limited edition, and everyone definitely don't understand it. It's what separates the bold from the bland. There's nothing wrong with being bland if you're watching your blood pressure of course lol, but the bold always mark their spot in history.

In everything you do make sure it's done with style and grace; make sure it's an accurate representation of you. And lastly, make sure it's exclusive. In the words of Jay-Z: " It ain't for EVERYBODY ! "

*** Here's a little music motivation from one unorthodox singer that's definitely a limited edition !

Be Your Own Gateway Drug

I know some of you are like "what? She's talkin' about drugs now?" lol but as always there's a method to my madness. You know how one drug can open the door to a more intense drug? Why not have that mentality for your career?

Take each experience/ job and think of it as a temporary stepping stone to get you where you want to be. All too often people get complacent in a job they don't love, then acquire more responsibilities that inevitably leaves them stuck in that position. The problem is, they started off thinking temporary and lost track of the vision they initially set for themselves. Don't let that be you.

Sure the job you're at doesn't pay well, or maybe it pays well but you aren't getting enough hours, don't quit. You must attain the bottom to reach the top; stick with it if it will eventually get you where you want to be. Start as an intern or entry level and have the mindset to want to become CEO one day. Your success starts with your drive and determination, never think mediocre when you have the potential to be grand.

Set a goal and stick with it. And more importantly set reminders, don't get content; when you are content you aren't growing. Refuel your mindset every 3 weeks, that reminder will help you when the complacency tries to creep in. Go ahead and get started on your gateway to greatness !

Are you Living or Living Vicariously?

With all of the reality shows, books, movies and sitcoms at our discretion it's easy to live vicariously through others; in fact at times it's a great escape from your own reality. There's nothing like looking at other people's issues to deflect your own lol, wrong but we've all done it on more than one occasion.

Contrarily, you can be so busy making a living that you forget or don't have time to make a life. The biggest challenge in life is finding the balance for things that matter. You may feel like you're juggling too much at one time, but if you don't pay attention something will fall. Make sure that your priorities are aligned so that nothing is left behind. And start doing things you love, if you don't you'll regret it.

Social media doesn't help either. I have a love hate relationship with social media lol. There are so many people that torture themselves daily comparing their lives to friends or strangers online; Comparing anything is destined for doom. Don't worry about anyone else's circumstances, focus on yourself and Just live.

If you have to choose between living vicariously through others or living, choose living. This may seem like a no-brainer to most, but a lot of people get caught up with facades and how things "appear" to be. As I said in a recent post, if you have to idolize someone choose yourself. Everything is not as it seems, live the best life you can and enjoy it, you don't want years to go by and you find you have nothing to show for it.

*** P.S. I apologize for not posting yesterday, especially on one of my favorite holidays :(; but unfortunately my Internet was out for majority of the day due to an outage in the area. Anyway I'm up and running again, hope you guys had a safe and fun Cinco de Mayo yesterday (if you celebrate it).

5 reasons...

You should go Wine Tasting !

(If you're 21+ of course)

5. It's an Experience. There's nothing like dressing up and getting cute, and wine tasting is a perfect excuse to do so. You can make it a girls night out, a romantic date night, or go solo and meet new people. Whatever the case, have fun ! That's what it's all about. Tasting wines from the likes of Italy, Spain, Germany and beyond will only make you want to travel and get some international stamps on that passport !

4. It's Something Different. Lately I've been all about doing different things; You never know who you'll meet when you do something out of the ordinary. Expand your palette by adding more colors, nothing wrong with changing your perspective of the world every now and then. Let this experience be the first of many new things you try this year.

3. It's Local. We only had to travel 30 minutes out to Alpharetta, but there are others all over. If you've been under a rock like me and thought you'd have to travel California to visit a vineyard, prepare to be stunned. At the wine tasting we met other "wine connoisseurs" that graciously told us about vineyards right here in Georgia. There are packages that include a hike and wine tasting after in Helen, Ga. I just have to find one where we can stomp some grapes with our bare feet next ! Lol

2. It's Affordable. Long gone are the days of wine tasting exclusively for the "elite". You can get a great wine tasting experience equipped with 16 different selections of wines ranging from the best whites, reds, and finest rose's from around the world; And we even had cheese, fruit, chocolate, mac & cheese, potato salad, cornbread & pulled pork. Not bad at all for only $10 !

1. It's WINE. Who doesn't like wine? And more importantly, who doesn't like an assortment of wines at their disposal? Lol  When I saw that deal on Living Social it was like God personally created it for me lol.

 *** Note: You can also look for wine tasting deals among others at: Deal Chicken, Groupon & Half off Depot.

Stressing Is Like Praying For What You Don't Want To Happen

Stress is something we all can relate to, but there have been no positive effects in regards to it. We stress daily about food, traffic, work, school, and relationships. Some people exercise, drink, smoke, or fight... while others eat to release the tension. No matter what you do to cope, there's still one solid fact, worrying and stressing about things don't help your health, and is basically a waste of time because majority of the time it never happens.

Whenever you feel stressed step back and take a break... walk, count to10, or do something to take your mind off of it completely. Stress is essentially your worst enemy, kind of like that boss you can't stand, the monthly menstrual cycle (sorry guys) lol, or that competitive coworker that always keeps you on edge.

Find things to help you eliminate stress: take a exercise class, take a walk in the park, try something fun and new. You will lead a happier and healthier life when you stop letting stress consume you. Statistics have shown that the leading cause to depression is stress. You deserve to have a peace of mind. Make time to have a moment of clarity each day for a more balanced and fulfilling life. Don't worry about the coulda shoulda woulda's, what's meant to be will be. Let it go and LIVE !